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I’m Too Sexy For Southwest

I have come to love Southwest’s cheap flights out of TF Green. But $59 to BWI is not worth the price of freedom, even for an extra bag of peanuts.

Last week the airline had tried to kick 23 year old ASU student and Hooters employee Kyla Ebbert off a flight to Tucson for her ostensibly immodest attire. What? Given that she is young, traveling between two points with near 100 degree weather, and seemingly if lightly clothed, it seems like Southwest, and/or one pretty fascist Southwest employee fucked up on this one. Feministing also points out that it wasn’t long ago the Southwest and everyotherairline required that it’s all female staff of attendants wear hotpants. Maybe it’s just a whole new world since Hooters Air was grounded.


Judge (or don’t) for yourself; Ebbert wore the outfit on tv for 3 days straight drumming up press after planeboobsgate. Legal “scholars” are now debating the massivity of her case against the airline. Southwest meanwhile won’t apologize claims they don’t have a dress code, which is a lie.

Ways to get kicked off a Southwest flight after the jump:

So how do you get booted by Southwest, besides the obvious ways of having a temper tantrum, actually going crazy or being a Muslim?

  • Displaying Arabic writing of any kind and definitely also asking permission to pray before takeoff.
  • Wearing a shirt with Cheney, Bush and Condi and the caption “Meet the Fockers.” Yeah, that was Southwest c. 2005, when they said they DID have a dresscode barring clothing that is “lewd, obscene or patently offensive.” I bet they aren’t down with “Bong hits 4 Jesus” either.
  • “An official of a private Indian airline said a flier could be offloaded if he wore a sleeveless shirt that showed rashes or festering wounds on his arm.” Word.
  • Having a precocious toddler.
  • Breast feeding/”Reminding humans that they, too, are animals.”
  • Reading environmental terrorism-inspired fiction (and The Nation).
  • Autism. A 22 year old autistic man was kicked off a Portland to Chicago direct flight by Southwest airlines after explaining the mechanics of jet airplanes to fellow passengers while waiting for takeof.
  • Having been on a “party boat.” Texas man tries to boat a plane wearing a t-shirt from a party boat in St. Thomas that read, “Your liver is evil. It must be punished.” Continental employee’s response: “I’m sorry we have standards.” Ouch.
  • The bottom line: you can be kicked off the plane for wearing whatever the fuck some douche thinks. This is what happens when you put John Roberts and Samuel Alito on the Supreme Court.