When Eric asked me to compile a list of my top five movies of 2007, I thought long and hard about it—if by “long,” you mean “the amount of time it takes me to make a sandwich,” and by “hard,” you mean “just enough so as not to distract me from sandwich-making.” As I spend most of my time drinking bourbon and screaming at the television while Dana Perino sweats and squirms her way through another awkward press conference, I did not have the time to truly indulge in the smorgasbord of cinematic delights offered up in limited release these past twelve months. (Plus, I was already rather full from that sandwich.) My final conclusion was that I had simply not seen enough films this year to accurately compile a top five list. The solution, of course, is to present you, the loyal Daily Dose browser who should probably be doing some actual work for once instead of piddling away company time on the internet, with this wildly inaccurate, and oftentimes wholly imagined, list of 2007’s best movies.

1. There Will Be Blood

Though I have yet to see anything but the trailer and this is unlikely to see any screen time in Providence until after the New Year, I’m going to just go ahead and call this the best film of 2007. All I need to know is this: Daniel Day-Lewis is cast as the personification of America’s soul rotting from the inside out. Considering the fact that my love of his performance as Bill the Butcher in “Gangs of New York” knows no bounds, this has to be my number one.

2. Judd Apatow

Yes, I realize Judd Apatow is a person and not a movie, but since this is my list, there’s not really anything you can do about it is there? He wrote and directed “Knocked Up,” which I adore. He produced “Superbad,” which made me laugh so hard I peed a little. Finally, he wrote “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story.” While that one is far from a masterpiece, it rounds out a pretty outstanding trifecta from the hardest working man in comic brilliance.

3. Seth Rogen

See number 2.

4. Some Focus Features movie by an up-and-coming Latin American director that does the whole Paul Haggis-Stephen Gaghan-intertwining-story-lines-about-a-weighty-issue-that-demonstrates-how-we’re-all-connected thing.

This one, which I can only assume exists in some form, really moved me. The performance by Benicio Del Toro/ Terrence Howard/some unknown Arabic actor as the narcotics cop/conflicted suburban husband/sympathetic Persian guy was a powerhouse of emotion. I’m certain that if indeed this movie was actually made, it’s in line for several Oscar nominations, including best original screenplay and best supporting actor.

5. Something with Cate Blanchett and/or Laura Linney in it

I’m not entirely sure I saw any of their movies, of which I’m sure there were several, this year, but they’re both always fantastic. I did see a preview for the Dylan biopic “I’m Not There,” in which Blanchett plays circa ’65 raging asshole Dylan and she was pretty dead on. Also, I saw “Breach,” which actually came out last year, on video, and as always, Laura Linney exelled in a supporting role that probably would have been bland in the hands of another actress (except, of course, Cate Blanchett). So, yeah, I’m sure at least one of them deserves to be on this list.

6. Transformers

Actually, this one was a steaming pile of shit, but if we’re going to talk about the year in movies, I need to mention that fact. There was no plot and the action scenes, which everyone thought were so breathtaking, were really just jumbled and confusing. Furthermore, while I must allow a movie like this to take certain liberties with logic and/or believability, I cannot forgive the fact that after the good guys got a hold of that magic cube thingy in the military base out in the desert, they thought it prudent to bring it to the middle of a crowded city in order to defend it from the Decepticons. That just smacked of finding a flimsy excuse to blow shit up to distract us from the total lack of a plot.

Well, that’s all for 2007. See you at the movies in 2008.

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This entry was posted on Friday, December 28th, 2007 at 12:59 pm and is filed under Douchebags, Film, The Malcontent. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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