all the news that’s shit to print:

• Bhutto’s 19-yr-old son to succeed her as PPP party leader, gets fake ID in New York.
• Kucinich backers pissed about new Pizza Hut commercial, switch to Domino’s in moral stand.
• Bin Laden appears topless, I mean, condemns Iraq unity government, in new tape.
• Harvard, somehow, gets more toolish, expands aid to middle class applicants.
• Conservative study says Fox news gives most balanced coverage. Also, the tooth fairy is real, and O.J. is innocent.
• Dan Rather’s Emmy goes for $2500 on eBay. Bidding still open on his pacemaker.
• Chuck Norris is so inconsequential, he’s suing the author and publisher of a fan book. Oh, also, Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
• Marilyn Manson officially single. Also, he’s standing RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
• Vatican denies expansion of exorcist operations. But, guys, Hillary, like, really needs help…
• Police use naked lady in pervert sting, celebrate with gang bang.
• Connecticut offers online high school classes, saves money to further tree-line streets of Greenwich.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, December 29th, 2007 at 5:57 pm and is filed under Bigots, Conspiracies, Criminal Justice, Douchebags, Funniness, Media, News, Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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