• Obnoxious Bush re-declared May Day “Law Day USA.” Really.
• Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon wed in ceremony so secret its not even true.
• It’s snowing in hell: The man known as “Cheney’s Cheney” may submit to acongressional subpoena.
• Obama beats a 14-year old at P-I-G.
• Shady Alert! Recently convicted “DC Madam,” who pimped to Washington’s most powerful hooker-lovers, “commits suicide.”
• HP invents the memristor, offering new hope to DARPA, Warcraft fanatics, AI and futuristic-ass projects like these.
• Florida school commits travesty of the millennium, fires bio teacher for bikini boat side-gig:

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