filed under Election 2008 | Funniness | Interweb | Politics
News Attack IV: Son of the News
9:34AM ON
06/12/2008
BY
Ari Savitzky
* Dennis Kucinich gets a just little less lonely as Florida Congressman Robert Wexler, of Colbert/Cocaine, and more recently Obama-backing fame, co-sponsors articles of impeachment for Dubya. Maybe he read Vincent Bugliosi’s book?
* Only an Obama-caliber uniter could bridge the gap between sci-fi overlord George Lucas and traditionally conservativeEvangelical Christians. Plus, he wears a helmet!
* Scientists create souped-up, 100 mpg Prius; The experimental uber-car is then fed to Truckasaurus.
* Rhode Island schools closed for the heatwave; local students work on “sweat your ass off at home” independent study project.
* Lil Wayne is finally getting his due: an New York Times article praising his emotional vulnerability.
* Google Founder Brin heads to space to meet with Data, Captain Sisko, and swarthy Cosmonauts.
* And, bringing it back to one, President Bush is sorry about all the messed up shit he said; messed up actions still ok, though.
Phrases such as “bring them on” or “dead or alive”, he said, “indicated to people that I was, you know, not a man of peace”.




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