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filed under Election 2008 | Funniness | Interweb | Politics

News Attack IV: Son of the News

9:34AM ON 06/12/2008
BY Ari Savitzky

impeachment * Dennis Kucinich gets a just little less lonely as Florida Congressman Robert Wexler, of Colbert/Cocaine, and more recently Obama-backing fame, co-sponsors articles of impeachment for Dubya. Maybe he read Vincent Bugliosi’s book?

* Only an Obama-caliber uniter could bridge the gap between sci-fi overlord George Lucas and traditionally conservativeEvangelical Christians. Plus, he wears a helmet!

* Scientists create souped-up, 100 mpg Prius; The experimental uber-car is then fed to Truckasaurus.

* Rhode Island schools closed for the heatwave; local students work on “sweat your ass off at home” independent study project.

* Lil Wayne is finally getting his due: an New York Times article praising his emotional vulnerability.

* Google Founder Brin heads to space to meet with Data, Captain Sisko, and swarthy Cosmonauts.

* And, bringing it back to one, President Bush is sorry about all the messed up shit he said; messed up actions still ok, though.

Phrases such as “bring them on” or “dead or alive”, he said, “indicated to people that I was, you know, not a man of peace”.

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4:35PM 12/01/2008
Chris Curley said:

How draconian. Now I finally understand AS220's ASCAP policy....

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