filed under Music
Could’ve Been So Beautiful, Could’ve Been So Right. Until Somebody Invited Tiffany Along.
6:49PM ON
06/16/2008
BY
Matthew Lawrence
As this blog’s resident expert on 80’s teen-pop and homosexuals, I have to say that I’m doubly shocked and appalled–or at least disappointed and confused–that the headliner of this year’s Pride festival is Tiffany.
Tiffany, a girl who had three, maybe four hits twenty years ago, two of which were covers of songs that were hits for other, better people twenty years before that. I mean, don’t get me wrong; I thought she was awesome when I was six, but that doesn’t mean I particularly want to hear her now that I’m twenty-seven. And I say that as someone that still kinda likes The Party.
But, you know, I figured I’d give her a chance. Last night I listened to her old singles. All of them, even the ones I didn’t remember, like Radio Romance and the inspirational ballad from the Jetsons movie. And I can now say with some degree of confidence that I Think We’re Alone Now is kinda lame; I Saw Him Standing There is basically unlistenable. Could’ve Been is drecky, and All This Time, which is the one I remembered the best, is both drecky and whiny, despite probably being the best of her big hits.
I didn’t think Tiffany’s voice was particularly terrible (although both my boyfriend and my roommate disagreed with me on that point), but the production is amazingly bad. Seriously, seriously bad. And I’ve spent the last two days wondering what roomful of adults in Providence (and Atlanta!) came to the decision that this is someone that makes music that grown people should be listening to in 2008. (Especially since she spent the nineties being born again…)
I have to acknowledge that I did actually like one song, though. Danny, her first single, which the record company didn’t even bother to make a video for. I didn’t remember it at all, but it’s got a good chorus, indecipherable though the words may be. And while yes, it would’ve been better had Roxette done it, it’s probably the only bright spot on a terrible, terrible teen-pop career that probably should have never happened in the first place.
RELATED POSTS
2 Comments on “ Could’ve Been So Beautiful, Could’ve Been So Right. Until Somebody Invited Tiffany Along. ”
October 17th, 2008 at 9:30AM
Another Reason I’m Glad Not To Have Cable | Providence Daily Dose Says:
[...] think we all know by know how I feel about Tiffany, the woman who had a bunch of hits in the late eighties despite having a total lack [...]
June 19th, 2009 at 10:09AM
I Don’t Want You. You Want Me. | Providence Daily Dose Says:
[...] mall enthusiast* who had a couple of hits in 1987 that sounded mildly tolerable then but which are completely unlistenable today to anyone over the age of maybe nine. (A friend of mine pointed out the fact that her appearance wouldn’t have been nearly as [...]