it isn’t normal.

However, as Matthew pointed out, she was expressing frustration or anger and used “faggot” as a means to demean the caller. The point is, somehow we (as a culture) can accept “faggot” as a derogatory diss and not see the implied hatred in it.

I bet, in my work context, if I were to use “middle class, privileged white guy” as a diss, the anti-PC police would be on my ass in a New York minute.

As a proud faggot, I get that str8 folks are often willing to abuse str8 privilege in service to your own identity and ego needs. I just wish y’all would do the work on this stuff.

I often get annoyed when society becomes too PC, however there is a point in which words are used and should not be used.

She is in a business/professonal environment - most likely not her own business, but that of someone elses. Selling pizza or a penthouse- she is still representing a business.

The fact that she is using that language against any customer is ridiculous. Although she may have used the word as an indirect assalt it still does not mean words such as FAGGOT, NIGGER, KYKE, etc. are acceptable- they are NOT synonyms for “stupid,” “arrogant,” “idiot,” etc.

To tell someone to “lighten-up” is to tell them to forget what these words of hate mean. To “take back” the word is ridiculous; to think that we would be accepting such definitions of hate into our lives ONLY makes it ok for others to use and accept those words. WORDS ARE SYMBOLS whether we devalue them or not.

As a confident, white, middle-class male who happens to be gay- the word is disgusting.

As a middle-class, confident and gay male who happens to be white- the “N” word still makes my skin crawl.

This because I know as a white male what it means to people of color just as I would hope those who are heterosexual would understand what the word “faggot” means to someone who is gay.

If anything, the gay community ought to live out loud a little more- the more visible we are, prehaps the more others realize we exist- even when ordering a slice of pizza.

-AM

I’d have a problem if she -didn’t serve pizza- to someone because they were gay, but if she just wants to exclaim that a customer is ‘a faggot’, it’s bad form, but not homophobic. (sidenote: we need a better word than homophobia to describe people who hate gay people)

I think we’re too caught up in the words, and not the actions. Wouldn’t it be a triumph over homophobia if she could use that word, and an actual gay guy in the room didn’t get offended because he understood that it was a vestigial insult left over from a time when gay people actually had to hide their sexuality from society?

Again, I’m a middle class white male so maybe I really don’t understand. I have slept with a few moms, though, and I really don’t think it would be fair for me to get offended when people use ‘mother f**ker’ as an insult.

Now, here’s another little exercise:

If you’re gay, and someone calls someone else a ‘faggot’ as an insult, do you feel -shame at yourself- or -anger at the person who said it-? If you feel shame, then you’ve actually been marginalized, but if you’re angry at the person who said it, there’s really no harm to your self-image, right? You’re not any lower or less confident than you were before they said it, so the insult had no degrading value. I would like to reexamine our reactions to these insults, and get people to just pity the lack of intelligence of the insulter rather than take offense at the misuse of the label.

Also, why do people get angry when they aren’t part of the group targeted by the misused labels? I don’t get angry when people use the n-word, but my (white) mom sure does. Sometimes I think our modern lives are so lacking of conflict that we invent ways to feel challenged and put down by society.

Whew. All this being said, I don’t use slurs to insult people, not because it would offend them, but because it’s just bad manners and poor social form. I pity people who can’t muster better, more colorful insults to use than racial/sexist slurs, but they don’t bother me.

Society goes through phases with insults–insulting people based on their race isn’t okay now; insulting people’s mental abilities is less okay than it used to be in most circles; but it’s still perfectly fine to throw around insults based on weight or class or gender. That makes me uncomfortable…

I don’t think she meant it in an anti-gay way, she was just angry at the caller. The caller may have sounded like James Earl Jones and she probably would have said the same thing.

I think it’s important to distinguish between when a slur is being used because it’s a powerful exclamation, and when it’s being used as a weapon aimed at someone’s race, sexual orientation, or whatever. Calling a customer a ‘faggot’ after getting off the phone with them doesn’t connote homophobia or anti-gay sentiment any more than calling them a ‘prick’ (which could just as easily be construed as anti-male sexism) or a ‘pussy’ denotes that they are sexist.

If you have a problem with -your- group’s ‘dirty name’ (be they gay, male, female, people who like to sleep with other people’s moms, those of us with sphincters, etc.) being used to express general discontentment, try taking your word back, it worked for the African-Americans.