Dear Wayne Koestenbaum,

Two years ago, something compelled my friend G——— and me to see you speak as part of the Brown Writers’ Symposium. I don’t think either one of us knew who you were at the time, but we were aware that you had recently written a book entitled Best Selling Jewish Porn Films, and that was enough for us. I don’t even think that we knew you had a fondness for hotels, or that you had written the libretto of an opera about Jackie O.

Sadly, it turns out, Best Selling Jewish Porn Films was a book of poetry and not anything to do with Joanna Angel or Ron Jeremy. But G———’s and my dismay was short-lived, as we soon discovered that you were nothing but charm and wit and amusing hair and white pants and a white shirt and, if I recall, a white jacket, not to mention the orange watch that you so dramatically removed at the start of your lecture. Thrilling!

And now, Mr. Koestenbaum, you are back, and speaking at MacMillan Hall (Room 115) at 5 PM today.* My dear friend G——– has sadly moved away, but I will be there, hoping you’re as charming and witty and fashionably attired as the last time.

In the two years since I first saw you speak I haven’t actually gotten around to reading any of your work, mind you, and I don’t know what you’ve been doing in the meantime except something conceptual about Youtube that I don’t think got very good reviews. However, hearing your thoughts this afternoon will surely make my Tuesday.

Yours,

Matthew Lawrence

(*That’s at 167 Thayer Street, for any of you who don’t know.)

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