So.. OK, first second thing: I still can’t understand what wine people say, and that goes beyond the burbling of the slow-night bar-time crowd at AS220 who slid down College Hill and floated downtown because alcohol is lighter than water. I know what ‘tannic’ means because I sometimes drink tea to avoid embarrassment in front of my out-of-town friends who are better than me. But the rest of it is mostly.. hell, they could be making it up for all I know. I’ll bet the whole wine-talk culture and industry is little more than an elite, overgrown drinking club playing an enormous and elaborate prank on the rest of the world. Because how would we really know, right? And don’t you think we’d have figured it out by now if there really was any sense to it?

Second second thing: ‘Vin de garage’? Garage wine? Wine bottled in a garage? And look how much money they’re making on it! This has been going on for some time now; hasn’t anyone over here been paying attention? Why is there no ‘vin de triple-decker’? Shit, let’s plant up the parade ground and start making some money already!