OK, so we should start off by pointing out that there is no KFC in Fallujah. There are, however, some enterprising restaurateurs, and apparently, some chicken.

The combination has resulted in a bootleg KFC reportedly taking root in that embattled city. So, while it’s unclear that business is booming, and while it’s pretty clear that (according to KFC) this is not an actual KFC, let’s not let that stop Fox and Friends touting the fast-food fryery as a sign of progress. After all, it’s Tommy Franks’ word against yours:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpssfO_v2_M&e]

The weirdest part of this story is that even though it’s premised on a bare-breasted lie (and broadcast on a wing and a prayer) there’s still a colonel of truth to it.

I mean, think about it this way: if things in Fallujah weren’t improving, then you couldn’t open up even a bootleg KFC. Perhaps this is part of our strategy for emulating the empires of old. According to a silly, flawed Pentagon study reviewed by Brown alum Justin Elliot, the US examined its imperial play for Iraq in light of many of world history’s greatest, most ancient hegemonies. Rome, in particular, was singled out for its domestic institutions, “designed to incorporate conquered peoples as the empire grew.” When George Bush said “bring it on,” it is now apparent that he was talking about a 6 pc. bucket with slaw and biscuits.

On the other hand, this video of the actual KFC, which sports a lot of logos, but doesn’t seem to be selling much chicken, seems to indicate that Iraq is still a long way from being China when it comes to the freedom/security to eat internationally-branded chicken.

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