filed under Democracy | Election 2008 | Get Out of the House | Good Ideas
Young Jews Schlepping, Shmoozing for Obama
12:26AM ON
09/26/2008
BY
Ari Savitzky
The Great Schlep is here! Young Jews from across our great, somewhat confused nation will trek down to Ft. Lauderdale and harangue their grandparents and their friends into voting for Obama. Time to cash in all those years of cheek pinching. The LA Times explains:
The Jewish Council for Education and Research — a new pro-Obama political action committee — is organizing “The Great Schlep,” in which hundreds of Jews will make the Southern exodus on Columbus Day weekend, Oct. 10-13. They will travel to the Fort Lauderdale area, where they will visit their grandparents, organize political salons in their condos and eat incredibly bad food. The grandkids also will meet up at a bar one night, which — if the psychological impact of spending a few days with frail, elderly, widowed relatives is taken fully into account — may do more to repopulate the world’s Jews than the creation of Israel.
In case you’re interested, but aren’t exactly sure how to pitch Obama to your elderly, hard-of-hearing, maybe-a-little-racist snowbird relations down in the Sunshine State, I’ve cooked up a nice mock pitch, to be delivered to “Aunt Ethel.”
Here’s the thing Aunt Ethel: I came all the way down to Palm Beach because, well, this election is important. Really important. Now look, remember how upset you were when you accidentally voted for Pat Buchanan in 2000? We don’t want that to happen again. And this John McCain character, he’s got less menschkeit than Shabbatai Zevi. He’s a real shlemiel. And this Palin. Don’t get me started. She’s just no good for the Jews. You know she bans books? You know who else banned books? Hitler, that’s who.
Now look, dear, sweet Aunt Ethel, you’ve been voting Democrat a long time. I know that you’ve said you “just don’t know” about Obama. And I’ve heard you say the word Shwarze a couple times, and I’m not trying to get into a big tussle about it, but I’m just saying, this Obama, he’s really great. He’s endorsed by 61 Nobel laureates, of whom a very high percentage are Jewish! He went to Harvard Law School, he’s a great dad, a total mensch. His cousin is a rabbi! Named Capers! You love capers!
Plus, he’s a constitutional lawyer, which means he wants to uphold the separation of church and state, and freedom of religion here in America. Now that’s good for the Jews. And he’ll be a great President, a real macher. Did you know what “Barack” means? “Baruch!” As, in “Baruch HaShem, my Auntie’s voting for Obama!”
And Seriously Aunt Ethel, don’t even tell me that you care what Joe Lieberman is doing. Joe’s off base on this one. Look at all the Jews in Congress who are supporting Obama, from Russ Feingold and Carl Levin to Robert Wexler, Allyson Shwartz and Steve Cohen. Not to mention all those nice Nobel Prize-winning doctors. Even Joe Lieberman gets it wrong sometimes. And this is definitely one of those times. Besides, you don’t even like Joe Lieberman anyway. What with with the company he keeps. Feh.
And Aunt Ethel, one more thing. Remember how you and Bubbe and Zayde and Mom and Dad were always telling me I should do more Jewish things, and how I joined the youth group and met lots of nice Jewish boys/girls and learned all about Israel? I also learned about a little thing called Tikkun Olam. Healing the world. The world needs some healing now, and Obama, that’s his shtick. That’s what all of this change stuff is all about. I know you’ve said “What is this Hope business?” But remember Aunt Ethel, Israel’s national anthem is Hatikvah. That means, “The Hope” in Hebrew. I know whenever you hear the HaTikva you get the shpilkes.
So please, think about it Aunt Ethel. Your vote is so important here in Florida, and your darling little kinderleh’s future depends on it.
But don’t take my word for it. Thus Spake Sarah Silverman:
September 26th, 2008 at 7:04AM
Beth Comery Says:
I’m nominating this for a Dosie Award in the “Funniest Post that Might Change the World” category. But please tell me you will all head south with a mock-up of the ballot in hand. As I recall the problem in 2000 was not ideological.
[Reply]
September 26th, 2008 at 7:35AM
joe bernstein Says:
Ari-comparing people you disagree with to Hitler sucks.
You ought to take a closer look at some people who Obama associated with if you want to see real Jew haters.Like Rev.Wright-they love to trot out the word “Zionist” to make it look better,but if you cannot see past that you need to go back to school.
Alcee Hastings lectured a Jewish audience about how if Palin totes a gun and hunts she doesn’ty care about Jews and Blacks.What a non sequitir that is!
The past president of the NRA was a Jewish woman with a law degree from Harvard named Sandra Froman.
Hastings is a discredited former judge who was impeached and removed from office because of his associations with drug dealers.Now he’s in Congress-he is still the same dishonest man in my book.He patronized a room full of Jews like they were sheep.When Jews let themselves be led around by the nose out of groundless fear it never turns out well.
Most Jews who vote for Obama will be acting against their own self interest.
“Hatikvah”is just another song to me.The only national anthem that I like to hear is ours.You are living down to a stereotype here,Ari.People love to accuse Jews of having dual loyalty.
BTW Sarah Silverman is a real scumbag-why not trot out Sarah Bernhard’s filthy comments also.These two women throw around hate speech directed at Christians at the drop of a hat,and no problem with that,right?Don’t whine when it comes back to bite you in the rear end.
[Reply]
September 29th, 2008 at 5:41PM
joe bernstein Says:
Alcee Hastings issued an apology for his remarks.What a sport!
[Reply]