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Excuse Me, I’m Looking For The Rough Sex Repertory Company…

I don’t normally feel the need to link to religious crazies, but there are so many hilarious details in this article from something called ChristWire that I couldn’t help it.  (Also, it took about twenty pages of clicking before I convinced myself that it was real.)

This sanctuary of scum is called the State of Rhode Island. The place that practically proclaims at its borders, “Welcome you hedonistic sex workers and pole dancers, and men and boys too! Now drop your undies and get to work!”

Rhode Island. Most of us couldn’t find this sneaky little street walker on a roadmap. Here’s a hint: it hangs like the diseased genatalia of New England. And sick it is, my friends! The veiny little pouch of debauchery and radicalism is threatening to infect America with its sinful liberal revision of what it means to be free. Prostitution and pole dancing are reputedly one of the few growth industries in this moribund mansack (no pun intended). [Ed. note: Is this even a pun?] What’s worse, when a handful of local Christians suggested outlawing these sins against human decency, the greatest pervs in the world jumped on top of themselves to defend it….

With the fortitude of a man, [URI professor  Donna M.] Hughes has delved deep into the heart of this sex-crazed world. Along with Club Fantasies, Club Desire, Airport Anal, Hooters, Steam Alley, Tazza’s Topless, Rough Sex Repertory Company, Foxy Lady, Satin Doll Gentlemen’s Club, Cheater’s, the Sportsman’s Inn, Barrington “Country Club,” Priests & Pros, Trixx – All Male Revue and Club Balloons.

A lot of these had links, which I removed.  Priests & Pros led to the Megaplex website, and Airport Anal led to a Warwick sex offender database.  It’s worth checking out for the comments–my favorite comes from someone named JaniceFun:

As for Rhode Island, there Catholics and maybe thats why they have strip clubs. Other Christian faiths can be calmer and don’t need all the pomp, and I want to love the Catholics I really do but you have to admit they are a little gaudy and overdressed and there services are indulgent in a way that doesnt seem all too Christian. But they are better than the Mormons in my book. I dont think a man should have more than one wife. But anyway, yes its true the minorities love hookers and sex clubs.

Article author Stephenson Billings describes himself an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!

[nb: Kindly forgive my sudden inability to Photoshop well.]

12 thoughts on “Excuse Me, I’m Looking For The Rough Sex Repertory Company…”

  1. jean c. says:

    hi matthew!

    I’m pretty sure that christwire is satire… though I looked at it for a long time before making that conclusion. I totally could not tell about the “outraged richard” site, that was totally mystifying… this, however, is some strange christian stuff that I am pretty sure isn’t a parody:

    the website is for some kind of pastors & ministers organization, with the most intense opening sequence animation I’ve ever seen…

  2. HandsomeFella says:

    Now Billings has posted, “I am working on another piece on Rhode Island’s sordid underbelly. This issue is just the tip of the iceberg.”

    That should be interesting.

  3. mangeek says:

    No, I’m sorry, this just can’t -not- be satire. It’s actually more non-sensical and more hilarious than , an old favorite of mine.

  4. Frymaster says:

    Fake or real, that is priceless. A cornucopia of one-liners. “The veiny, little pouch of debauchery and radicalism…”

  5. Steve Christiansen says:

    I am not convinced the site is a joke, and even if it is, Billings’ article spreads lots of distortions.

    Billings’ article is FULL of mistakes. The letter signed by 50 academics says absolutely NOTHING about underage strippers, and it is scandalous that Billings would twist the letter in this way to get maximum shock value. Second, the 50 signers are not “sex radicals” as Donna Hughes claims, whatever that means. That is Hughes term, meant to shock as well.

    The letter was signed by a few academics outside the U.S., but only a few. It is a distortion to claim, as Billings does, that “foreign” scholars are behind the letter. Almost all of the signers are in American academic institutions.

    Billings tries to make fun of people who conduct research on the sex industry. He apparently does not know that this is an economic sector that has long been researched by scholars. Billings may not like some of the findings of these studies, but he is basing his claims on emotion, rather than scientific inquiry. He is entitled to his opinion, but its only one opinion — and has nothing to do with scientific research on the sex industry.

    The memo written by Donna Hughes, that quotes Prof. Weitzer, is NOT a quote from Weitzer at all, but instead Hughes OWN words. The letter that Weitzer and other academics signed says the following:
    “”Many indoor workers made conscious decisions to enter the trade, and several studies also find that indoor workers have moderate-to-high job satisfaction and believe they provide a valuable service. One Australian study found that half of the call girls and brothel workers interviewed felt that their work was a “major source of satisfaction” in their lives, and more than two-thirds said they would “definitely choose this work” if they had it to do over again. (This study was conducted in the state of Queensland, where indoor prostitution has been decriminalized.) In other studies, a significant percentage of escorts report an increase in self-esteem after they began selling sex. These findings may surprise some people, because they are not the kinds of stories reported in the media, which usually focus instead on instances of abuse and exploitation.””

    Note that the letter refers only to INDOOR workers, not street prostitutes. And, again, it says nothing about underage strippers. That is a red herring fabricated by Hughes and Billings.

  6. HandsomeFella says:

    Ha, the “sinful liberal revision” line in the article links to the Prov Daily Dose!

  7. HandsomeFella says:

    I don’t know, sounds like a pretty accurate depiction of Rhode Island to me, especially the Priests & Pros- that’s essentially the clientele of the MegaPlex.

    Also, the commenters seem to take the issues very seriously.

  8. Matthew Lawrence says:

    See, this is the part where it gets too postmodern for me.

    What is real anyway, you guys? Y’know?

  9. Adam says:

    This can’t be real. I mean, “Airport Anal”? The name is fantastic but the fact that it blatantly links to something unrelated makes me wonder. Googling “christwire satire” also has me leaning toward “fake.”

  10. rasa says:

    ‘now drop your undies and get to work!’ would look MUCH better on our license plates than ‘hope’, don’t you think?

  11. wess says:

    Yeah, I clicked around a bunch, too, but I’m convinced this is an elaborate joke, not a real right-wing religious website. There actually aren’t very many articles on it at all, but a lot of different ways to see the same ones over and over through category linking. The site also offers none of the content you’d expect on a legit site of the type it pretends to be. The IDs are vague caricatures with no provenance given, which is very suspicious. And I find it especially glaring that there is almost no contact info, particularly nothing for sale or any other way to donate — practically unknown in this realm.

    I’m reminded of the situation years ago when a friend of mine discovered Landover Baptist Church’s website, which is also very convincing at first, if very weird. After a bunch of clicking, I found their Cafe Press page. “Dan, they’re selling a THONG that says, ‘Will you be my husband?’ I feel pretty sure this is a joke.”

    I didn’t find anything quite so obvious here, but I still think it’s probably not real. It’s way too ridiculous and funny, and missing almost everything else I’d expect to find.

  12. Thorton says:

    Where is this mythical “Rhode Island?” It sounds way cooler than the one I live in.

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