And his name is George Hutchins.  Just a couple minutes poking around his campaign website for North Carolina’s Fourth District will make it clear that Hutchins is the real deal, not one of those fake conservatives.

And as any REAL conservative knows, the reason that our country is in the economic mess it’s in– and why Democrats have won overwhelming majorities in both chambers in the last two elections, and Obama trounced McCain –is not a result of 8 years of Bush’s radical conservativism: it’s because Bush wasn’t ultra-radical conservative enough.

Which is why Palin should waste not one minute in declaring Hutchins her VP candidate for 2012.  In fact, the best political decision of her life would be to announce him as her pick on Thanksgiving.  And no worries about it being a rushed decision.  After all, looking at his website is about the same amount of vetting McCain did when he chose Palin.

Imagine it, the most coordinated and massive robocall in human history.  Timed to hit at precisely the moment families across the nation are sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner, every house, business, and cell phone in the nation receives a call, and who’s on the phone but Sarah Palin to announce that in exactly 90 seconds, on Fox News of course, she will be making the most important announcement in the 6,000 years of the earth’s history.

And as all families tune in to Fox, they are greeted by Palin holding back tears to announce that she has found a Republican truly worthy of the title “conservative,” and worthy of her campaign.

And then she introduces Hutchins to America to explain his “plan to fight an effective War against Terror, go after Fake Republicans, and to win the U.S. culture war, which will be a savings to all U.S. Taxpayers.”  Hutchins plan includes:

• getting to the root of the “poison tree” that has caused all of our nation’s problems, being the “Social Engineering contained in the Civil Rights Act of 1964.”
• privatizing all police forces and our prisons
• solving the immigration problem by destroying “the incentives for Illegal Immigration. . . by using Prison Inmate Labor, to do the Jobs, conducted by IMMIGRANTS from Mexico, and South America.”
• removing “ridiculous, STUPID, so-called Anti-Racial Disrimination Laws, in order to bring our corporate jobs back to America,” of course.

For those who might be tempted to think Hutchins is a lunatic racist, to give him credit, he does at least admit that there are “better black Americans” than Obama, like Mr. Bojangles.  (Diana Ross and the Supremes are the other “better black Americans” he lists, for those of you who are curious.)

And Rhode Islanders can rest easy knowing that Gov. Carcieri will have a job waiting for him in the new Palin/Hutchins administration, because as Hutchins explains, “Open Persecution of GAY MALE HOMOSEXUALS is NOT Recommended, but neither should GAY MALE HOMOSEXUALS be given special rights by government,” you know, like being able to plan the funeral of a loved one.

Carcieri, I recommend you start looking for housing in D.C.  And Palin, I’ll be waiting for my Thanksgiving call.

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