Epic Pope Fail
[Our senior ‘Circles of Hell’ correspondent is on vacation. I will try to handle some recent inquiries.]
1) What sort of person understands that it is wrong to throw litter on the ground but then stuffs it into the hollow of a tree? Do they think that a trashcan has been disguised as a tree trunk? Do they think it is a compacter of some sort? And what happens to such people when they die?
Good news Slobs, you’re not going to Hell. According to Dante, people who in life have done nothing, neither for good nor evil, are destined to mill about for all eternity in the Vestibule of Hell with nothing but old issues of Golf Digest to read. Dante calls these people the “Uncommitted.”
2) Now, what sort of person knows that it is wrong for divorcées to take communion but then hides and protects pedophiles?
Many credible witnesses are accusing the not-at-all uncommitted Archbishop Jozef Wesolowski, the Vatican’s ambassador to the Dominican Republic, of sexually abusing minors, and — surprise surprise — the Vatican has whisked him out of the country. The New York Times reported on August 23rd (“For Nuncio Accused of Abuse, Dominicans want Justice at Home Not Abroad”) that he has since been defrocked (ooooh) . . .
But far from settling the matter, the Vatican has stirred an outcry because it helped Mr. Wesolowski avoid criminal prosecution and a possible jail sentence in the Dominican Republic. Acting against its own guidelines for handling abuse cases, the church failed to inform the local authorities of the evidence against him, secretly recalled him to Rome last year before he could be investigated, and then invoked diplomatic immunity for Mr. Wesolowski so that he could not face trial in the Dominican Republic.
Mr. Wesolowski has since been seen strolling leisurely about the Eternal City (and this is why we all secretly wish Hell was a really real place).
At any rate, despite all the humble posturing, hints at progressive thinking, and his own newly issued guidelines on sexual abuse, Pope Francis has failed his first real test. Plus ça change . . .