Hot Club Waterfront Festival starts at 8PM/Walkmen/Deer Tick/Brown alum Elvis Perkins/$5 before 10pm/$10 after.

B Sharp Music Presents: A Troop of Echoes; I, Crime; Spurs/ As220/115 Empire Street/9pm/$6.

Check out the Wild Colonial Tavern Pub Quiz tonight.  Good beer on tap.  Prizes for win, place and show.

starts 8PM/250 South Water Street/621.5644 

The holiday weekend notwithstanding, the famous Wild Colonial Tavern Pub Quiz will go on as scheduled (at least that’s what the person who answered the phone last night told me). Form your own team of one to four people and just show up. There are usually about 8 or 9 different categories of six questions each, and then the last category is music with about a dozen audio snippets you have to identify. The rules are explained as you go along. There are swell prizes for win, place and show (always the wildly popular WC pint glasses for coming in third).  In closing I would like to mention that this is one Irish bar that has gone ‘green’ in the best possible way — they have started recycling. Well done.
quiz starts 8PM/250 South Water Street/621.5644/wheelchair accessible

Tonight is Pub Quiz night at the famous Wild Colonial Tavern, voted the best bar in the universe every year since the beginning of time. Disputes are rare and always seem to involve squid. Mostly people just grumble and whine. (Wasn’t that a U2 album?) If you have never been, just show up. Form your own team of 1 - 4 people. The rules are explained as you play along. Categories of 6 questions each may cover topics such as sci-fi, pizza toppings, politics, the two Coreys…. I’m pretty sure ‘famous Irish-American boxers’ won’t be back… and it always ends with a 12 question audible music category. Cool prizes for win, place and show.

starts 8PM/Wild Colonial/250 South Water Street/621-5644/wheelchair accessible

Another thing you could do, you could join this weekly running/walking group for some exercise. They meet at Rhode Runner Sports at 6PM on Wednesdays. Afterwards, everyone jogs right next door to the bar of the Wild Colonial for refreshments — and tonight you can accidentally bump up against and drip sweat all over the earnest liberal weinies who will be caring and talking and pretending to listen to what the girls think about stuff while trying to see down their blouse.

6PM/Rhode Runner Sports/271 South Main Street/831.6346

And beer. The Department of Environmental Management has declared Saturday another Air Quality Alert Day. This means all RIPTA bus lines are free — including the beach routes (but not special services). So, you could go to the beach where they have sand and seaweed and sunburns OR you can just zip back and forth to the IndieArts Fest in Kennedy Plaza all day long.

Fest sched/1PM to 11PM/three music stages/a groovy light-show tunnel/ cute dj’s/a beer garden/a yard sale/did I mention the cute dj’s

Action starts 2PM Saturday for an abbreviated day of kickball, only four sets… matches… periods… chukkers… what the hell do you call it when a gaggle of noodle-shaped DJ’s and puffing radicals run around in circles? (My intern informs me the proper term is ‘travesty’. Thank you Ivan.) The schedule at this writing is:

2PM Stilettos vs. St. Sebastian

3PM French Revenge vs. UGGH

4PM Scurvy Dogs vs. BSRmadillos

5PM CBP vs. Urban Plantain

Sooooo… no Burnsiders this week. Probably a good thing as today’s ozone alert probably has the team home on the sofa sucking on their oxygen tanks. The Scurvy Dogs and CBP go in undefeated — so give ‘em hell and send them home smirk-free.

first travesty starts 2PM/Armory Park at Dexter and Hudson Streets/more info at PKL

Big plans are afoot to generate more activity in and around Kennedy Plaza this summer, including poor little Burnside Park. There are some regular weekly events planned, like a Friday Farmers’ Market, as well as some big events such as the Heineken Latino Celebration July 6th (please tell me they’re planning a Dos Equis Oktoberfest) and the Roller Derby on July 25th. But the one you have to start thinking about now is the IndieArts Festival on July 19th. First, there are still table-spaces available for vendors (it’s BYOT). To get on board contact Jen or Chris Daltry at What Cheer Antiques, 7 South Angell Street,861-4244. Jen spoke today with the Providence Journal,

“It’s really a pretty neat park, with the fountain and the statue and it’s definitely underutilized,” said Jennifer Daltry of What Cheer Antiques & Vintage, which is helping to put together the festival.

Organizers are even tying the event to its new host site and its massive statue of Burnside. The best sideburns will win a prize, an homage to the Civil War general famous for his facial hair.

The sideburns competition is very much in the planning stage but there is talk of at least two categories; one for the purists who grow their own, and another for the DIY types who might artfully apply grass clippings and dryer lint with spirit gum. Women are welcome in both categories.

From the mailbag: “Relive the days of rope climbs and open showers tonight at 8 pm, as the Co-Ed Fight Club for Girls pays homage to gym teachers through the decades at their every-so-often bartending gig at the E & O tap. The lovely ladies of Providence’s underground exercise scene will be there bearing clipboards, whistles, and their closest approximation to gym teacher attire as they dole out no-carb to all-carb drinks for all of you looking for revenge against the pullup bar. CFCFG will be conducting fitness testing through the night, so be prepared to show off your very best high jump, forward roll*, and sit-and-reach to earn a free drink from those tough-to-please taskmasters. As an extra bonus, CFCFG will also be unveiling their first movie, a move-for-move approximation of the Eric Prydz’s “Call On Me” music video. Come and watch - you might see someone you recognize!”

*Not a real thing.

And I really mean smoking. Our kickball team may need to get some nicotine patches from the team doctor so that in the future they can play with both hands. At any rate, the PDD Burnsiders got roughed up by some totally gay pirates earlier today — we need not rearrange the trophy cabinet for these gorgeous bowl-things. (At least I don’t think we won. I didn’t actually ask anybody but it sure looked like losing.)

And it’s still going on, and on, and on. (Last match starts at 5PM.) Get down to the Parade Ground behind the Armory. (Parade Street off of Westminster.)

Well, folks, it’s Pride Month, which means it’s time for all sorts of events and happenings around the city. Unfortunately, the events are actually pretty few and far-between if you’re not a raging alcoholic. Which, apparently, isn’t a problem with the homosexuals in this town.

Highlights from this week, ripped from the Pride calendar’s magical inclusion in this month’s Get Magazine, after the jump:

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Cuz that’s what the Rabbis tell us to do, and we’re not ones to ignore directives from on high.

There’s only one way to shake out those winter doldrums, people: loud, loud music and ass-shaking.

In fact, the band will be doing so this weekend in Boston, for Purim, the Jewish holiday which celebrates drinking, costumes, and noise making, “to blot out the name of evil.” Duh!! It’s a perfect match for us.

To get specific, we will blot out the name of evil Saturday, March 22, 8pm – 1am, at Community Church of Boston, 565 Boylston St. (Sliding Scale $10-$20) All Ages Event Honoring Keshet and Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition. Music by Zili Misik, DJ D’hana, and What Cheer Brigade! Exotic dancers including you!

The awkward phraseology, “Blot out the name of evil” must be some strange attempt to make the goyim understand what the hell is going on. But I don’t think it’s any more intelligible to the lay person than saying “Scream like mad men every time somebody says Haman.” You see, Haman was a bad dude, and most of Purim is predicated on reveling in his execution — the ultimate insult being digesting cookies that are shaped like his hat.

This bar crawl appears to be working its way west.  I caught up with it in a place that shall remain nameless because they refuse to remove the big Christmas wreath from the front window!  (It’s St. Patrick’s Day ferchrissake.)  At any rate, this crew is to be commended for not driving today.  And they were really nice to me.

Just had a great liquid lunch at E&O; a black & tan, some Bailey’s and coffee, plus they just loaded in the corned beef, cabbage and potatoes and it smells amazing. Get there asap, it’s $5 all you can eat and you get a pint of Hibernia with it. Yep. BTW, Hibernia was the ancient Greek name for Ireland. Thank you Wikipedia.

This year the Ides of March falls on a Saturday. Hooray, a party just when you need one, and you don’t have to listen to some weepy Irish guy singing ‘Danny Boy’. But how do you make a toga? Add this to the list of things (Latin!) they didn’t teach you in high school — too busy with workshops on conflict resolution. As it happens, the Romans had a way with conflict resolution even if it was a bit stabby, so let’s celebrate that.

First: how much fabric to buy? (Bed sheets are for freshman.) Searching for YouTube help on this topic, one can find a woman with a British accent (the same lady who tries to sell me bars of gold I think). She seems to have a pattern designed by the Holy Sisters of the Immaculate Conception and ends up swathing herself in 6 yards of cloth, around and around. Her apparent goal is to join the Vestals and hang around in the kitchen talking about how you can-so have fun without drinking. But in the most useful video, the guy still needs 6 yards of cloth, if for somewhat different reasons. Togaboy is quite helpful, and you may only need 4 or 5 yards of cloth. For inspiration watch the amazing HBO series ‘Rome’. How-to video after the jump. (more…)

From Anthony, of Barn Burning:

“Shit! I should have sent this in days ago! But there’s another Anti-Valentine’s Day event happening tonight at the Penalty Box (1119 N Main St) at 9:30pm with Barn Burning, Rock Paper Rock (M. Lambert of Shark’s Come Cruisin’), Audrey Ryan (boston) and The Family Fortune. A night of wine and no roses. I’m such an asshole for forgetting to write you guys. Eric, post this if you see it before 9pm, if not, fuck it, Happy Valentine’s Day.”