Saturday afternoon, I drove 45 minutes to partake in some perverse Swedish science project. Admittedly, I didn’t realize my involvement in this cruel experiment until I had been sucked through the automatic doors of the 350,000-square-foot laboratory.

And by then, it was too late.

Looking back on this wasted weekend afternoon, however, I should have realized something was up as soon as I exited Route 24 and found myself in a snarl of traffic that was slowly snaking its way past an army of wannabe cops decked out in fluorescent green vests. Sharing traffic-mangling duties with a few police academy graduates, these manufacturers of road rage were stationed at every exit, entrance and orifice of 1 IKEA Way in Stoughton, Mass.

And just to make sure you were herded into the proper holding pen, a sea of orange cones marked the way. Turning around was not an option.

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Today’s Providence Business News reports that only Rhode Island and Michigan lost residents between 2006 and 2008, according to a study by Michigan State University’s Land Policy Institute. PBN states that Providence County placed 19th out of well over 3,000 U.S. counties in population loss during that period, and that Lil’ Rhody’s loss more than doubled Michigan’s in terms of population percentage (our 2,000 residents represented 1.9% of our population, while a whopping 89,844 exiting MI residents comprised a mere 0.9% of theirs).

I’m a bit confused by the 2,000 Rhode Island figure.  The MSULPI study’s full report lists Rhode Island’s loss as 5,855 between 2006-2007 and 2,348 between 2007-2008, meaning it should equal 8,203 lost RI residents.  But hey, I’m willing to believe the PBN has better resources for tracking Lil’ Rhody’s population trends more accurately, given that folks in other states namely view us as a unit of measure.

Anyway, I’m one of few who went against the grain and moved here during the study’s timeframe, and, at least for now, I’m staying.  How about it, Dose readers—what’s keeping you here?

He Don us proud again! In the face of some serious competition, AfterElton.com just named Carcieri their Asshat of the Week, beating out the formidable Michelle Malkin and the Washington Times.

And they did up a nice graphic montage to commemorate the moment:

Channel 12 says that the center of gravity of the New England mob is about to shift back to Boston. The wonderfully sensationalistic video can be viewed here.

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (WPRI) - We’ve learned a major shift in power is happening right now inside the Patriarca crime family . It’s an historic move with major implications.

According to the FBI, the leadership of the New England mob has been in the hands of Luigi “Baby Shacks” Manocchio for the past 12 years. But Target 12 has learned that Manocchio is stepping aside.

You can add Raymond Patriarca as a Facebook friend over here.