San Francisco is trying to name their sewage treatment plant after President Bush.

“We think that it’s important to remember our leaders in the right historical context,” said McConnell, a member of the group that was formed after friends came up with the renaming idea.

“In President Bush’s case, we think that we will be cleaning up a substantial mess for the next 10 or 20 years,” he said. “The sewage treatment facility’s job is to clean up a mess, so we think it’s a fitting tribute.”

Interesting. Any takers on renaming the the Johnston landfill “The Dick Cheney Stinking Heap of Garbage and Corruption”? What, too much?

Camp Grosvenor Beach in North Kingstown
Gorton Beach Pond in Warwick
Oakland Beach in Warwick

The Dept of Health closed these two beaches today because of high bacteria count. What they don’t tell you in the news is that it’s fecal coliform. You know, POOP!

You wanna know how it gets to the pristine bay? I’ll tell you. Every time it rains hard, the sewage treatment plants overflow into the rivers and streams that lead to the bay (and sometimes even directly into the bay). We all know that road runoff goes there…but did you know about the sewage infrastructure? I’ll guess not.

Don’t swim in the poop. Contact your local politicians and non-profits like environment RI and clean water action to make a difference.

All parent know that when you’re out and about, it’s not easy to find a clean, private place to stop and change your baby’s diaper. For example, My husband and I were in the elevator at providence place mall en route to the bus stop with precious little time to spare, and I’m standing there changing our newborn’s sopping diaper while it’s moving and then while we’re exiting the ‘vator and walking (quickly, mind you) down the hall. Not everyone is super mom and would be able to do that - esp if you don’t have an extra two hands to take care of the stroller and 50 million other accessories that come with having kids. (more…)

Over there on the right — that’s what a douchebag looks like:

Travis Rowley ‘02, vice-chairman of the Rhode Island Young Republicans, responded to the bill on behalf of the organization in an e-mail to The Herald. “Almeida is a small-minded champion of political correctness,” Rowley wrote. “If he wishes to continue his obsession with what happened a long time ago, to people he did not know, he should do it on his own time.”

So says the name-calling, but soft-on-the-inside, Rowley: “When you’re made to feel stupid or mean for your views, it is a powerful way to shut someone up,” Rowley said.

If you’re a marketing or PR firm you can send us all the press releases you want but we get to make fun of you if it’s stupid. Like this gem we got yesterday: “Calling all administrative assistants…are you a “ROCK STAR” assistant?” It doesn’t get any better after that:

“In honor of Administrative Professionals’ Day on April 23^rd, ROCKSTAR LIMO is calling for nominations for the ultimate “rock star” assistant. To nominate an administrative professional, send a 50 - 100 word essay on why this assistant is a true, everyday “rock star.”

An essay? It then goes on to use the term “rock star” 47 more times and: “Entries will be reviewed by a panel of Boston’s most high profile administrative assistants.” which means some intern who works for the PR company. Oh, and “winners” get to ride in a limo! A LIMO! That horrible/sad/grainy picture of “Pam” from The Office was sent along with the release so I’m not responsible for that.

Don’t spvill yuh kawfee oa nuthin but the Juhnal sez that:

While it might be a badge of honor for some, others with a wicked strong accent might want to get rid of it.

Whether considered an impediment to clear business interaction or a source of embarrassment, many Ocean Staters have turned to an accent-reduction class offered by the community-based education network, Learning Connection.

What does Don Bousquet think about all this?

No, this has nothing to do with the Israel lobby or usury or Wall Street or 47th Street or campaign donations. This, my friends, is about poop.

The Washington Post reports:

JERUSALEM (AP) — Something didn’t smell quite right with a pile of cash discovered Thursday at a sewage purification plant in northern Israel. Shocked workers at the Tiberias plant found about 7,000 shekels ($2,000) of the dirty money, all in 200 shekel bills among the smelly sewage. Israeli TV showed the bills sticking out of sewage and stuck in pipes. The bills were cut in half.

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I am alternately horrified and enthralled by the impending downfall of Western Civilization, a process I occasionally like to prod along in some small, but I hope, ultimately meaningful, way.

In various print columns I have both decried the commercialization of Christmas, and urged the indiscriminate bombing of one or more Balkan nations by our next president; condemned the reckless egomania of athletes, and demanded my own fawning cult of personality; admonished our current president for his messianic ineptitude, and cited that same ineptitude as an inspiration to my career as a writer. So while I may find reality television and its corrosive effect on the American psyche alarming, I can appreciate its intrinsic value as a yardstick to measure just how close we’ve gotten to the absolute bottom of the barrel.

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Could David Lee Roth get past Simon?

In an unrelated story, the Van Halen concert scheduled at the Dunk on March 24th has been postponed while doctors test somebody for something, and then cure it.

The Army is apparently mandating that workers at Walter Reed be subjected to sessions with Disney cartoons:

Fifty medical workers — doctors, nurses, therapists and administrators among them — sat in a room at Walter Reed Army Medical Center gazing at a slide of Donald Duck on a screen….

A year after a scandal erupted over the long-term treatment of soldiers at the hospital, the Army has turned to Disney for help. “Service, Disney Style” is newly required for all military and other government employees at Walter Reed.

Bonus flashback bits after the jump. (more…)

Not to pass judgment on people in a part of the country I’ve never been to with regard to an animal I’ve never actually seen in person, but I’m pretty annoyed about the federal government’s decision today to remove the gray wolf from the endangered species list. Here’s the AP article.

It would be great if the wolf was taken off the list because it’s a thriving species now, but it’s not. It’s a total of 1500 wolves spread across the entire Northern Rockies, and it took years and years to bring the number up that high. And now that they’re not federally protected, people can hunt them again. Because apparently that’s the point of saving endangered species. And until 80% of the wolves are killed, they’re not getting put back on the list, either.

Click after the jump for the press release from the Natural Resources Defense Council:

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What a hilarious letter from Scott Wolfe in today’s Projo:

I was recently in Providence at the lovely Providence Place mall, where it finally dawned on me. As I walked around, I was happy and yet depressed, because I was so angry that Worcester had absolutely no upscale place for me to shop and offers no quality of life whatsoever, as Providence does.

The wonderful thing about Providence is that it is small enough to get around without any hassles. When I compare Worcester and all its ugly triple-deckers and bombed-out factories with idle smoke stacks, I cry.

Yep. That’s Providence for you. No bombed out factories whatsoever. No ugly buildings right downtown (certainly none like in the picture above). Who needs working infrastructure and living wages when you have the glorious upscale shopping of the Providence Place Mall?

Sometimes I like to start my mornings off with a cup of hot joe and a fresh batch of Craigslist Missed Connections (and/or Italian Greyhound listings on  Petfinder), but the ones this morning are something of a downer.  While I’m glad that some girl had a lot of  fun at the Mahi Mahi show the other night and people are still trying to pick up moms at Catholic middle-school basketball games, check out this alarming and strange post: 

To the young 30ish, Brown MD-You put something in our drinks. Obviously out numbered. This straight male was just happy to get out with 3 messed up girls and blurred myself. I new it was time to go when you tried to force yourself on me, then forcefully trying sodomizing my gf’s gf. We exit the bedroom to find her other gf, naked on the floor, passed out. Later to realize she was r*ped by your buddies that came over while she was passed out on your couch. Watch out. Kiss your profession GOODBYE! You probably will like getting it in every hole in Prison. In the mean time, keep looking over your shoulder.  

That’s, um, something.  Right?  I kind of assumed that this person posted this when she got home from the party, angry and inclined to forget certain grammatical details.  It would also explain why this poster would consider this a missed connection and not, you know, something that would look better in the form of a police report, if it’s true.  But then I noticed it was composed at 6 PM and not in the middle of the night.  So, make of that what you will.  Also, I wonder why the poster apparently thinks that homophobic threats and warnings are the way to get justice for whatever happened to her friends.  Anyway.  The publicly-posted replies are completely tasteless and make one wish that the world would just hurry up and end already.  Replies after the jump, if you’re the type that longs for the glory days of The Jerry Springer Show:  (more…)

… just bad owners. That got repeated so often during last night’s Westminster Dog Show I almost started believing it. But then I remembered Manny (may he rest in peace). At any rate, it is easy to start falling in love with all these breeds, and certainly the announcer and commentators are completely smitten. But if you listen carefully, they are trying to tell you something with certain code words and phrases. Here’s a simple glossary of terms.

• “loves to join in family fun” — will drive you nuts
• “talkative” — will drive your neighbor nuts
• “not a city dog” — you have to pick up the poop, your call
• “has a mind of its own” — untrainable
• “bred to be gamekeepers’ watchdogs, needs socialization” — they’ve tasted human flesh, and they like it
• “full of life” — will knock Nana on her ass
• “natural herding instincts” — will knock Nana on her face
• “loyal and dignified companion” — dumber than a bag of hammers
• “very territorial” — close the door when having sex with your boyfriend

Tonight is the 50th anniversary of the Grammy Awards. On the schedule is a special tribute to Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band which I’m sure will be ghastly. All hope of a spontaneous unscripted moment was abandoned years ago… but wait… there’s hope. CBS is teasing a live feed from London featuring Amy Winehouse! Keep in mind that there is a 5 hour time difference. At the start of the show it will already be 1:30AM Amy-time. What could possibly go wrong?

Meanwhile enjoy the famous Bob Dylan/ Soy Bomb incident.