Ever have a moment where your kid needs a new pair of pants…and fast!  Perhaps you are at the playground and there’s an ice cream disaster, but you didn’t bring an extra change of clothes for your little one. 

Check out Pantsinapinch.com, a new company selling a change of pants in a coaster-size tin for kids from 3-6 months up to 24 months with toddler sizes available for special order.  They are 100% cotton and come in four colors, for now.  Toss a tin in your pocketbook and never have to worry again.

I don’t know where to buy them in RI, but you can get them on the website for only $19.95, and I’m sure you can ask your local small shop to carry them. I know I’ll be getting a bunch as soon as humanly possible!

For those clumsy, sloppy days, I kind of wish they made these in my size.

Best potential 1st amendment case ever coming out of Florida, where Palm Beach has outlawed saggy pants somehow. You cannot be serious. Actually, this is probably a much bigger 14th amendment case, as guess who likes to wear the saggy pants typically? I dunno, but if there are any white people sagging in Palm Beach, their newspaper’s photographers either didn’t find any or didn’t think it was worth it to snap a photo for their gallery of scary pants-sagging black people.

Under the new law, anyone with droopy pants that show skin or underwear faces legal action. The first offense carries a $150 fine or community service. A second infraction carries a $300 fine or more community service.

Habitual violators could face up to 60 days in jail. The jail provision produced a last-minute backlash to the ordinance. But the law was popular among elderly voters who apparently turned out at the polls.

Hmm, jailing people for wearing their pants wrong produced a backlash you say? Interesting. Oh, whats that, all the old people voted for it anyway? Oh, Grrrreat. The Founders are MAD ABOUT THIS!!!

I got a scary loop-de-loop of Kansas RI connectivity this morning when I opened a Roz Chast greeting card sent by my mother only to find two promotional postcards for Kansas-RI-Kansas transplant and recent RISD grad John Sebelius. Sebelius, in addition to being our silver-haired governor’s son, is also a clothing and game designer. He sells his prison-themed, Monopoly-style board game and retooled vintage dress shirts with dreaded Black men screened across their lapels from his website and at my former stomping grounds, Hobbs Inc.

It is really boring to make the same old comments on this type of weirdo Mark Ecko shit, so I won’t. But I’m curious to know if any dose readers know Sebelius’ work from RISD days and what might have contributed to his fascination with incarcerated people of color. To fuel the hype more, check this article from my hometown’s better-than-the-Projo local rag.

Further proof that, believe it or not, US weekly readers care about news that actually matters, the gossip rag has a feature on Hillary Clinton.

“My Worst Outfits Ever!” in the February 18th issue showcases the losing looks of Senator Clinton through the years, with critiques allegedly penned by the candidate herself. From The New York Times:

“Mrs. Clinton pulled few punches against herself in the four-page spread, disowning outfits like the high-waisted striped pants from her college days (“It’s not my fault,” her comment read. “It was the ’60s.”) and a long, shaggy, violently multicolored coat (“I’m a big believer in recycling — even carpets!”). The unflinching portfolio also included pictures of Mrs. Clinton in baggy shorts, a polka-dot dress and a Christmas sweater that would make Bridget Jones blanch.”

I kind of love that after years of ridiculous scrutiny over her hair, clothing, looks, etc, Clinton is getting playful with her image, admitting fashion mistakes that any woman could be guilty of.

Does this move increase her likability? Sure. But, FYI, I still advocate for a focus on policies, voting records, campaign finance, and electability in choosing a candidate.

Dear Everyone, Especially Three Girls I Have Seen In The Last Ten Minutes,

Furry moccasins are NOT cute. Moccasins maybe, but certainly not the kind that looks like a sheep-monster is living inside your footwear and trying to devour you from the bottom up. Don’t listen to what people tell you, they’re not cute. Ever. Especially when it’s wet outside and you live in a city. Stop acting like you’re Cameron Diaz three years ago planning her wedding that never happened. Take them off, donate them, whatever, and get yourself something cute, because unless you’re actually making some kind of human-sheep pyramid, then your feet should not be that woolly in public.

Also, if you insist on wearing these hateful slippers from Hell, and for some reason think they’re cute and appropriate to wear outside your home, PLEASE don’t wear them with tights like one girl that I just saw. ESPECIALLY if you are wearing RIPPED tights. RIPPED SILVER TIGHTS with BEIGE SHEEPSKIN SLIPPERS. I mean really.

Love,
The Rest of the World

PS–Where in God’s name are you getting these terrible monstrosities? I’ve spent the last half-hour looking online at terrible, terrible shoes trying to find a picture of the right pair, but they’re nowhere to be found. Not here or here or here or here or here or here or even here. They’re almost like this hideous pair, but they’re a little less UGGy, which means that they don’t even keep you warm. Are you custom-making these? Why?

PPS–I think I need to lie down with a cold compress on my head. If you evilly befooted Brown girls make me miss Angela Davis this afternoon I’m going to be sooooo mad.

In January 2008, Providence becomes NELA’s Fetish City!

The Fetish Fair Fleamarket™ has a new home, and it’s not just a hotel, not just a venue, but a whole city. From January 11th through 13th, 2008, the New England Leather Alliance will bring the biggest leather/fetish/BDSM event in New England to Providence, Rhode Island, where the event will take place in the Rhode Island Convention Center and three (or more) neighboring hotels. (more…)

If the idea of a bunch of dominatrices and leather daddies running around Providence for the Fetish Flea Market tomorrow leaves you anxious to go somewhere a little more puritanical–Boston, say–then you might want to think again. Because if the folks from Improv Everywhere get their way, then tomorrow in Beantown you’ll be seeing a whole lot of leg and maybe more.

Saturday marks the seventh annual No Pants Day, a worldwide event happening in cities like New York, Baltimore, and Portland, not to mention Adelaide, Australia and even Salt Lake City. (Apocalypse watchers might want to start their Doomsday Countdown Clocks now.) The idea is for as many people as possible to ride public transportation in their skivvies. At least 233 people in Boston alone are planning to show up.

It’s all in good fun, brought to you by the same folks who convinced over a hundred New Yorkers to walk around Abercrombie & Fitch with their shirts off. If you long for the glory days of flash mobs but don’t like zombie makeup and Santa hats, this is the event for you!

(PS–No word yet on whether anyone’s planning on showing some thigh on RIPTA. Anyone up for a pantsless January ride on the Newport ferry?)

It’s Free-For-All Saturday at the RISD Museum.

So you can’t afford real jewelry — in fact, you can’t even afford to pay to get into a museum, then today is your day. Every last Saturday of the month, the RISD Museum of Art is free! Go see the show ‘Fabulous Fakes: Jewelry of Kenneth Jay Lane’ and look at costume jewelry (that you also can not even afford). You will never look at Nana’s brooches the same way again (one display in the exhibition will tell you exactly what ‘marks’ to look for, if you can just get the damn thing away from Nana.) Exhibit ends January 27.

Well, as I mentioned yesterday, my holiday dinner included a close encounter with New York’s “ Littlest Hustler.” The kid’s an experience. A unique mix of precocious and childish, playful and mean — In other words, incredibly manipulative. But he is somehow such that it almost feels reasonable that there’s a 3,000-word profile about him in that rag.

(Anybody who knows me well knows that I’ve been engaged in an ill-advised beard-growing foray, and have been left with a mild bout of folliculitis. Alex promptly and gleefully made sure I knew that I had “an ass disease on my face.” Then he made me a sandwich.)

I went to the comments section from the NYMag article for help articulating my ambivalent reaction. I think this one might come closest:

What the fuck is happening to New York? Gettin soft? 15 years ago that kid woulda been popped in the mouth and had his sneakers jacked. Can’t hate on the little bastard though, just taking advantage of the opportunities presented to him….parents who don’t care, a city where individuals get lost in the mayhem, and a look that begs for people to shower him with empathy….SHit, I’m just jealous cuz I gotta wait in line at Supreme and then have to pay stupid amounts for hoodies and t’s…

Fashion is commonly thought of as a guilty indulgence, but this Friday, November 30th, at 7pm in RISD’s Metcalf Dining Hall (30 Waterman Street), you can enjoy some beautiful and unique designs while supporting a good cause.

Project Apron: Fighting Hunger With Fashion, hosted by RISD Dining, will raise funds to fill the shelves at the Rhode Island Community Food Bank. 50 or so RISD students and faculty members have agreed to design aprons that will be auctioned off. The aprons will be modeled on the runway, some by none other than yours truly! (Here’s hoping I don’t stumble on the runway and get run over by Heidi Klum like Ms. Carrie Bradshaw here…)

All proceeds will go to buying food for the Food Bank, but here’s what I like most about this event: half of the money will be used to buy fresh, local fruits and veggies through Farm Fresh Rhode Island’s Holiday Food Drive, and every farmer has agreed to match those cash donations with an equal amount of food, donated throughout the upcoming year. That’s a lot of healthy food going to the members of our community who really need it!

The event is open to the public, and your admission is just a can of food. You can also make a cash donation or bid on one of the super-hip aprons designed by those super-hip RISD kids.

See you on the runway.

You’re gonna hurt yourself on that thing.

Thanks to multiple tipsters for passing on some info about Fountain Of Youth, a brand new skate shop opening right here on the West Side® by pro skater Donny Barley. The shop sits right next to our beloved E&O and from what you can see of the ongoing construction it looks really sweet. On Saturday expect an awesome kickoff party starting at 1pm with a ton of pros from the Zoo York team rocking it, celebrity guests (I’m hoping Howie Mandel) and DJ Red Beard on some vinyl trickery. Of course there’s an afterparty at the E&O. (see the flyer after the jump)
And hit this link too while you’re here: Land Of Plenty Skateboard Foundation
Fountain Of Youth, 289 Knight st. Providence, Corner of Knight and Carpenter.
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Queen Of Hearts, the downtown boutique that specializes in local designers and artists, is having a gigantic sidewalk sale today (Saturday). Bring your girl there, buy her something sweet.
Queen Of Hearts, 186 Union St. Providence