An update for Dave’s coverage of last night’s immigration raids that took janitors across the state–RI Jobs with Justice and others are holding a press conference in about half an hour to respond to last night’s events:

Last night ICE detained 31 people as they got to work.
Stand together today to say we won’t let raids break up our communities.
Join us TODAY (7/16) at 3pm in front of family court. 1 Dorrance Plaza.

You can also read about the raids in today’s BeloJo.

It’s official. The Japanese are mental.

For fair-skinned people outdoor music festivals are a non-starter. And actually, it’s great to have an excuse for getting out of something that looks like hell on earth, even for people who have melanin. Sunshine and music are mutually exclusive as far as I’m concerned — rock should be heard in a dark club with a sticky floor (and I still miss the smoke). Artist Andrew Kuo has created these elaborate charts outlining exactly “why Bonnaroo sounds like a nightmare to me”. Go to the New York Times music page for a readable image. Click on “Rock! Sun! Crowds! You Go Without Me”. It’s genius.

Well, it took millions of dollars, and thousands of man-hours, but through the miracle of CGI, animators have finally taken the cuddliest and most adorable creatures ever to walk the earth and made them creepy and menacing. Thank you Dreamworks.

The Sunday ProJo had a nice piece by Charles P. Whitin about the rhythms of life on College Hill and the simple pleasures to be found there. And, like me, he is a people-watcher —

An amazing amount of pulchritude unveils itself as the weather warms, most evident in the young women of the Hill, while the men, by and large, go incognito, relatively hidden in a ubiquitous uniform of athletic shoes, baggy shorts and visored caps, less commodities on display than diamonds in the rough. Or is this just because I am a heterosexual male, and fail to notice, being otherwise distracted?

Nope, you are absolutely correct Mr. Whitin, and I’m a heterosexual female. The other day I had a cup of coffee outside at Blue State and took in the passing scene. Almost all of the guys looked like they had walked straight out of a gym (except for the irrefutable evidence that they had clearly never walked into a gym). Most were wearing crappy tees and flip flops and those nylon athletic shorts. Guys… you don’t look casual… you look ’special’. This would be fine I suppose if their female counterparts were similarly attired, but they are not. The girls are pretty stylish and put-together. This disparity was weirdly on display with the couples — real cute girls who appeared to be on a community service project with their ’special little fella’. Come on ladies, it’s time to go Lysistrata on their sorry asses. No nookie until they shape up. (And end the war while you’re at it.)

call mother

No need to worry about the rice shortage when human flesh is so plentiful — good source of protein too — so let’s get zombified.

8:30 PM — Preparations for the third annual Zombie Day invasion take place in the Upper Quad at RISD, 55 Angell Street, where an experienced team will apply makeup and blood. Your clothes will get messed up, plan accordingly.

10:00 PM — From there, the zombies will swarm down Thayer Street, lurch around Brown, and back to Angell Street in search of slow-moving yuppies and pie-throwing commies, vegans and freegans and out-of-town mommies. And please — I am begging you — get that guy who plays the saxophone. This is being organized (a relative term when speaking of zombies) by Andrew Fogel and a gang of RISD students who must insist that you be at least 18 years old to take part for reasons of liability. (Oh right, almost forgot, get the lawyers!) A donation of a buck or two is requested to support the purchase of the Z-Day supplies. You can even RSVP on Facebook.

11:00 PM until whenever — The Undead After-Party at Studio Blue, 271 Bullocks Point Avenue, Riverside — of which, more later.

Here’s a new entry in the self-loathing sweepstakes — how to talk to the children about your cosmetic surgery. In his new book (to be released on Mother’s Day) plastic surgeon Michael Salzhauer outlines the approaches for talking to your kids about being shallow and insecure and why the family won’t have a vacation this summer. Speaking to Newsweek magazine, one satisfied patient said she had read the book a half a dozen times with her 9-year-old son.

Instead of being uncomfortable about the surgery, Acosta says her son actually spoke up about it at a big party. “Did you see her new belly button? It’s so pretty!” he said of his mom. “I think he was proud,” she says.

Wait’ll he sees her tits.

This will be my hippie-dippy earth day contribution. No one who has read a description of the North Pacific garbage gyre (two vortices really) remains unchanged. ‘Polymers are Forever’ by Alan Weisman first appeared as an article in Orion Magazine. It was later incorporated into his excellent book The World Without Us and maybe you saw him on The Daily Show. So, get the plastic shopping bags out of your life anyway.  Just get a couple of totes and leave them in your car. It’s easy. Now, how am I supposed to buy shampoo?

Yeah great Michael, but you look like Superdork. As if Speedo hasn’t inflicted enough libido-crushing evil on the world… now this. My reasons for watching Olympic swimming just went from one to zero. According to the New York Times, since February when the new Speedo LZR Racer swimsuit was introduced “swimmers wearing it have sped to 22 of the 23 world records” set. There is some controversy as to whether this new suit is merely uber-streamlining or is actually enhancing buoyancy.

A coach who has worked with several Olympic gold medalists described the suit as “drugs on a hanger.” The coach did not want to be identified because some of the swimmers are sponsored by Speedo. The Italian national team coach Alberto Castagnetti recently told The Associated Press that wearing Speedo’s LZR suit was “technological doping.”

In a piece about how cell phones are creating a separate, private life for kids and teens, the New York Times drops this depressing tidbit;

Marketers and cellphone makers are only too happy to fill the newest generation gap. Last fall, Firefly Mobile introduced the glowPhone for the preschool set; it has a small keypad with two speed-dial buttons depicting an image of a mother and a father.

So, when you hear the Wiggles ring tone going off… glare at the baby.

Take a break from getting waste off green beer to come out and see “Iraq for Sale: the War Profiteers”, which will be kicking off Providence Students for a Democratic Society’s anti-war Week of Action during this the week of the fifth anniversary of the Iraq War. It starts at 7:30 at MacMillian Hall, Room 115 (on Thayer between George and Waterman) on Brown’s campus. It sounds pretty cool:

The story of what happens to everyday Americans when corporations go to war. Acclaimed director Robert Greenwald ( Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price, Outfoxed) takes you inside the lives of soldiers, truck drivers, widows and children who have been changed forever as a result of profiteering in the reconstruction of Iraq. Iraq for Sale uncovers the connections between private corporations making a killing in Iraq ( Blackwater, Halliburton/KBR, CACI and Titan) and the decision makers who allow them to do so.

Oh and no excuses because admission is free.

Cool. Don’t think I’ve seen any local press on this:

PROVIDENCE, R.I.—A local animation studio is teaming with students from the Rhode Island School of Design to create a first-of-its-kind computer-animated horror movie.

The Providence-based studio, The Story Hat, is planning to begin preproduction this week on the movie called Bloodline, according to the Providence Journal.

The movie tells the story of tattoos that grow and change, wreaking havoc on the people who bear them.

Director Michael Corrente says he hopes the movie puts Rhode Island on the map as an animation headquarters.

The studio estimates that the film could give jobs to as many as 200 people at peak production.