You can’t enter East Side Market without going by the magazine racks. Give it a quick scan next time and try to imagine the market research that led to this odd selection of periodicals. Perhaps there is a huge marlin fishing subculture somewhere around here I don’t know about. And where are all these archeologists and shipwreck enthusiasts when they aren’t home reading?

I can see that “Lapidary Journal” must be flying off the shelves but how many German language opera magazines are you gonna move in a month? Two? Maybe three tops?* And I may be wild about the Queen but I have yet to buy an issue of “Majesty.”

We mention this as a public service in an effort to unite the narrow readership being targeted here with the magazines they didn’t even know existed.

*Margin of error: ± three.

(Mommie Dearest marathon all day on IFC)

Oh just park anywhere. (Actually, firemen are busy digging out the fire hydrants. Feel free to pitch in with that effort; the life you save may be your own.)

Governor Chafee has declared a statewide travel ban for the day so just stay home and eat your food.

Zappa plays Zappa at Lupo’s has been postponed to September 3rd.

The online edition of the Providence Journal will be free through Monday as a public service. They have an updated National Grid widget to check the status of outages around the state.

(1.21) The Rhode Island Democratic Committee is throwing an Inauguration Day viewing party Monday at Rick’s Roadhouse. The President will actually be sworn in today, January 20th, at noon as required by the Constitution, but when that date falls on a Sunday they do it again on Monday because I don’t know why.

Monday’s re-enacted swearing-in of President Obama begins at 11:30am. Expect long lines to the bathroom during the poetry portion of the program.

11:30am, Monday, January 21, Rick’s Roadhouse, 370 Richmond Street, (directions)

Do it for the herd. The Rhode Island Department of Health reports that the number of flu cases has skyrocketed.  According to the Providence Journal there’s more than one strain out there;

People who have had their flu shot, health officials said, can still get the flu, although the shot is expected to reduce its severity and duration. Also, people who have had the flu once this season are not protected from other strains and are still advised to get vaccinated. Other ways to protect yourself from the flu, the health department said, are to wash your hands, wipe down commonly touched surfaces such as door knobs, cabinet handles, telephones, and electronic devices such as games and remotes, and generally take good care of yourself by eating well and staying rested.

More information is available at the Health Department, including a list of FREE state run vaccination clinics around the state. None are listed for Providence but you can head over to Jenks Junior High, 350 Division Street in Pawtucket from 4pm to 7pm, Tuesday, January 15th.

And you can not get the flu from the flu shot. From the CDC, “. . . a flu shot cannot cause flu illness. The viruses contained in flu shots are inactivated (killed), which means they cannot cause infection. Flu vaccine manufacturers kill the viruses used in the flu shot during the process of making vaccine, and batches of flu vaccine are tested to make sure they are safe.”

Just so’s ya know, there is an ‘Obama for President’ headquarters in Providence, but it’s not one of those places where you can drop in and get cool merch like buttons, lanyards, and bumper stickers. Obviously the campaign shouldn’t be wasting money in Rhode Island when we all know that the president is now elected by a couple of hundred people in Ohio.* But there is an earnest crew of interns and volunteers over there at 151 Broadway (third floor rear, above the beauty school) working their laptops and phones. And apparently they sometimes head up to New Hampshire, canvassing and helping to get out the vote. Nobody in the organization solicited this publicity, nor did they seem all that wild about getting it. I think I startled them. They did suggest however that the best way for people to help can be found at the Dashboard Obama site.)

*And by the way, I want commentators to stop saying that no Republican president has ever won the election without carrying the state of Ohio — remember 2004?

Dennis McNett from Wolfbat Studios in Brooklyn will be the Artist in Residence for Foo Fest. McNett and the AS220 Industries will be building an elaborate Viking Vessel covered in screen/woodblock prints, laser cut embellishments, and theatrics that will be paraded throughout the streets during Foo Fest. In the days leading up to the parade there will be a mask making workshop free to anyone interested in participating in the parade/performance. The masks are paper mache, covered in woodblock/screen printed patterns, and accessible to all ages and skill levels.

McNett’s graphic aesthetic and love for narrative work has been translated in many ways and has been displayed internationally. His work ranges from larger than life Viking ship performances/parades in Philly, resurrecting Nordic giants on West Broadway in Manhattan, Dragon slayings in Oklahoma, masks, installations and sculptures to unique hand-carved wood cut pieces, traditional relief prints, and graphics.

10am to 6pm, Friday, August 10, Workshop, AS220, 115 Empire Street

Daylight saving time ends at 2am, Sunday, November 6th — set your clocks back one hour if you must, but it’s all totally bogus. Learn why in ‘The Illusion of Time’ the second installment of the new NOVA series The Fabric of the Cosmos this Wednesday, November 9th.

Time. We waste it, save it, kill it, make it. The world runs on it. Yet ask physicists what time actually is, and the answer might shock you: They have no idea.

Last week we learned that the universe may just be a holographic representation of data smeared on the surface of a black hole.

Learn more about what the government wants you to believe at the Official U.S. Time website. Pictured here is the clock in the RISD Library.

Contrary to all outward appearances this bridge is still open to traffic. If you slow down and scoot around the right end of the orange barrier you can keep going straight and access the exits that take you to Massasoit Avenue or North Broadway in East Providence. It was recently reported that Rhode Island bridges are the fourth worst in the country but this one is in a class all by itself. The Henderson Bridge (still named for its designer because no politician has ever wanted his name associated with this albatross) was never quite finished and seems to have been mostly Jersey barriers to begin with. An East Providence bridge listed as the ‘Red Bridge’ built in 1969 and crossing the Seekonk River is listed by RIDOT as ‘Structurally Deficient’. At the very least that should be the New Red Bridge. It is unclear which of these bridge names you should use on your accident report.

Or Sugar Ray. . . ever?  The Dose received several press releases for this weird Sunday morning hybrid event, but as soon as I saw the word ‘marathon’ I took a pass. But now that I see the race described — and examine the road map (ProJo) — I have to think that some Providence residents are going to be a little bit cranky about this. (Not the least of which, the people who have just gone to bed because they were out late Saturday night seeing bands in the clubs and bars where they belong.) Ten or so band stages are to be dotted along the marathon route — downtown, East Side, Fox Point — to entertain the runners as they pass by, and nearby residents as they sleep, starting at 7am. Produced by a California marketing firm, the event culminates with a 9:30am performance downtown at Station Park by Sugar Ray featuring the odious Mark McGrath. At the very least consider this a traffic advisory; marathoners have four hours to complete the course.

[Additional Update: There is a 'correction' in today's (Friday) Providence Journal (hard copy) regarding the map for Sunday's marathon. The route on the new version of the map no longer includes the intersection of Olney and Camp Streets, so the original image for this post has been swapped out. Blackstone Boulevard is still on the route, as is Hillside Avenue, President Avenue, and Alfred Stone Road. Rise and shine.]

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The Providence Public Works Department offers city residents two options for proper mattress and box spring disposal.

Beginning August 1, Providence residents and property owners can dispose of their old mattresses and box springs directly at the Department of Public Works Convenience Center, 700 Allens Avenue on Thursdays from 3pm to 7pm and Saturdays from 7am to 1pm.

Residents dropping off mattresses/box springs will be asked to provide proof of Providence residency, and drop-offs are limited to two mattresses/box springs per resident.

Or you can arrange for curbside pickup for a $20 disposal fee.

Just call Waste Management at 1.800.972.4545 before 3pm — at least 24 hours prior to your regular trash collection day — from Monday to Friday, 8am to 5pm, to schedule curbside pickup. Payments can be made by check or credit/debit card.

But don’t just plunk it out there and hope the mattress fairy will come along. Property owners will be fined $50 to $500 for mattresses and box springs that are placed on the curb in front of their property without a scheduled pick-up. (We will assume this resident has made proper arrangements — we just needed a picture of a mattress. Sure hope it was an upgrade.)

The City of Providence has scheduled bulky trash pickups — items too large for the big green cans or recycling bins — for neighborhoods with large student populations who are currently vacating the premises.

Items such as couches, tables, mattresses, filing cabinets, refrigerators and more that students plan to discard are scheduled to be picked up on the following four dates throughout neighborhoods where a high percentage of Brown, RISD, Johnson & Wales and Providence College students reside:

Wednesday, May 25 and Wednesday, June 1
Schools: Providence College and Johnson & Wales University
Targeted Neighborhoods: Federal Hill, Washington Park, Elmhurst

Thursday, June 2 and Wednesday, June 8
Schools: Brown University and RISD
Targeted Neighborhood: East Side

Residents are reminded to place bulky items on the curb by 4pm the night prior to their pickup date. Officials are also encouraging those with goods that are still in working condition to donate them to local charities before disposal, such as the Rhode Island Donation Exchange (RIDE) at 20 River Avenue in Providence. RIDE will pick up donations but donors must call 831-5516 at least 48 hours prior to pickup.

Attention must be paid. And not just the meters, the signs too.

To generate additional revenue, parking enforcement officers will step up their efforts to target cars parked at expired meters or beyond parking time limits, it was announced on Wednesday by the administration of Mayor Angel Taveras.

According to a press release, the parking regulations will be enforced fully from Monday to Saturday, 8am to 6pm. Posted one- and two-hour parking limits will be enforced and drivers will have to “feed the meter” during the enforcement time posted on signs.

No enforcement Sundays — go nuts. ProvPass parking cards are available at City Hall, the Public Safety Complex and AAA. More at ProJo.

This is like close-order marching but with sponges instead of rifles. . . it’s actually kind of fun to watch. They look like a team of synchronized hospital orderlies.  At any rate, the match should start up again soon on ESPN2, as well as the live feed from US Open.

[Update — 8pm: Nadal vs. Djokovic has restarted.]

The Providence League of Women Voters and Providence Community Library will be presenting a debate between the Democratic candidates for the Ward 14 City Council seat, tonight at the Wanskuck Library.

As Council President Peter Mancini is retiring, after serving the Wanskuck community for a number of years (and consistently supporting Wanskuck Library and PCL), the Ward 14 seat is open and the candidates for the Democratic primary will be presenting their views.

We encourage you to attend the debate from 6:00 to 7:30 p.m. tonight (Thursday, August 26th) and meet the candidates.

The Wanskuck Library is located at 233 Veazie Street, just off of Douglas Avenue and behind the Veazie Street School.

The bout originally scheduled for tonight downtown has been postponed to tomorrow night July 11th, and relocated to the Ocean Club Skating Rink in Narragansett. All tickets will be honored. More info at Providence Roller Derby.

Doors 2pm, bout 3pm, Sunday, 360 South Pier Road, Narragansett