Bill O’Reilly grab your notepad, because it looks like you’ve got more fodder for “Ivy League Debauchery.” Harrison Zolnierczyk, a Brown University freshman hockey team member, is facing charges of distributing child pornography. Zolnierczyk, who came to Brown via Toronto, will appear in the Port Alberni Provincial Court in Canada on March 13. Talia Buford reports in the Projo:

Zolnierczyk and his former teammate, Bradley Harding, were charged with four counts on July 9, 2007 of surreptitiously making a recording in a situation where a reasonable expectation of privacy is expected, knowingly distributing that recording, possessing child pornography and distributing child pornography. Harding pleaded guilty to the charges and is awaiting sentencing, said Cpl. Rob Foster, of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

Foster would not confirm any details of the incident yesterday, but did say that Zolnierczyk was facing charges resulting from an incident in the fall of 2006. The Canadian news wire, Canwest News Service, reported that Zolnierczyk and Harding made a sex tape with a teenage girl and posted it on on the Web site YouTube.

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Cause if you can’t trust a Jersey Girl for some much-needed sex and dating advice, who can you trust? Lets just get right into it this week:

Q: Ladies,
I’ve been dating this guy that I see about once a week. The sex is good but I feel like we’re falling into a little bit of a routine. We meet up for dinner or drinks, come back to my place and our clothes are off in a matter of seconds. The first few times when we didn’t make it past the kitchen or hallway were exciting. The sense of urgency is really hot but I need him to slow down if I’m ever going to be able to get off! How can I get him to tap the breaks a little bit?

A: Well, bonus for making it out of the car I guess. more »

New York Magazine features actress/singer/tabloid fixture Lindsey Lohan as Marilyn Monroe in “The Last Sitting”- the famed final photo shoot before her tragic death in 1962.

Lohan behold (!!), almost a half century later nudity still makes headlines. Office readers, click the link at your own peril.

Also in the news, the actress likened Heath Ledger’s death to Monroe’s in a related NY mag interview: more »

‘The Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman’

Tuesdays 8 - 8:30/ on the IFC/in reruns for now

This show stars, and is written by, the most excellent Laura Kightlinger, co-starring the scrumptious Nicholle Tom. I love these gals and I love this show. Often compared to that other show but in a whole different league.

NSFW prolly.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33u-u1AH3Ls&feature=related]

A cabaret-style evening of performance art created by people who work in the sex industry, to dispel the myth that they are anything short of artists, innovaters and geniuses! Performances range from music to burlesque to spoken word and everything in between. This is a nationally acclaimed show featuring worldclass performances- don’t miss it!

Sex Workers’ Art Show
Sunday February 17th
RISD Auditorium, 7PM
$5 with RISD/Brown ID
$7 general public

I picked up the new Psychology Today on Monday in an effort to finally figure out what women find so repelling about me and I think I found it: I don’t stink enough! Seems that back in ancient times, I’m guessing the 50’s, before people bathed and all that, women picked their mates by their smell, as your sweat contains a smellable map of your DNA, hence your genetic strengths and weaknesses. In our modern go-go society, where humanity’s natural reek is washed away by soaps and scrubs and covered up by perfumes and full-body colognes people are making more and more horrible relationship decisions because our genetic compatiblity is being obscured by our obsessive cleanliness. Ladies, I am back in the game and this time you’re gonna smell me coming!

Scents and Sensibility, Psychology Today

Kinda takes the sting out of the loss when you’ve got this gal icing your aching joints.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHWidOmv4hQ]

(Just a little something for the late-night crowd.)

Kay Hymowitz had a scathing assessment of my male peers in Dallas Morning News, claiming that they’ve forgone adulthood to play video games:

“It’s 1965, and you’re a 26-year-old white guy. You have a factory job, or maybe you work for an insurance broker. Either way, you’re married, probably have been for a few years now; you met your wife in high school, where she was in your sister’s class. You’ve already got one kid, with another on the way. For now, you’re renting an apartment in your parents’ two-family house, but you’re saving up for a three-bedroom ranch house in the next town. Yup, you’re an adult!

Now meet the 21st-century you, also 26. You’ve finished college and work in a cubicle in a large Chicago financial-services firm. You live in an apartment with a few single guy friends. In your spare time, you play basketball with your buddies, download the latest indie songs from iTunes, have some fun with the Xbox 360, take a leisurely shower, massage some product into your hair and face – and then it’s off to bars and parties, where you meet, and often bed, girls of widely varied hues and sizes. Wife? Kids? House? Are you kidding?”

What about the ladies?

“It’s time to state what is now obvious to legions of frustrated young women: The limbo doesn’t bring out the best in young men.

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Over at RIFuture, Kim gives us a heads-up on the film screening:

Tomorrow night (Sunday, 1/27), is the Premier of Venus, Priests, and Superwomen, a documentary about censorship and the banning of the Vagina Monologues at Providence College.

The film examines the varied and conflictive perspectives concerning the play’s censorship at Providence College and also examines wide-ranging views on what some consider offensive and demeaning about the performance, from both Fr. Shanley’s perspective to some of the young women that organized the event.

Details:

Tomorrow night, 7:00 - 8:00PM, at the Columbus Theatre (270 Broadway) in Providence.

It’s Tuesday and it’s time for LOADED! Join Kevin Leavitt, Handsome Pete and myself at the lovely Local 121 for the very best in britpop, indie classics, new wave, glam rock and sweet new jamz. LOADED! @Local 121 10pm, free,  

Mark Arsenault has a great, and relatively hard-hitting, interview with Bishop Tobin about gay rights.

Some interesting questions, and some awkward answers:

Gay couples married in Massachusetts say they are in love, and that their weddings brought them joy. Are those emotions real?

I’m sure they’re very real. And I love all sorts of people I can’t have sex with. So, yeah, the feelings can be very real and the emotions can be very intense. That does not give me the right to have sex with people because I love them, whether heterosexual or homosexual….

Many people cite scripture to show that homosexuality is immoral. But few quote Deuteronomy 22:11, which commands: “Thou shalt not wear a garment of diverse sort, as of woolen and linen together.” There are also prohibitions against planting two kinds of seed in the same field. Why are some lines in scripture followed, and others ignored?

There are tons of things in the Bible that have to be taken in context. We believe it’s the church, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, that is properly equipped to interpret the Bible. We need to make the distinction between things that are — how should I say it? — essential moral norms, and those things that are purely accidental, related to a specific time and culture. Who does that? The church does that. We do it in the context of our 2,000-year tradition; we do it, we believe, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. You cannot take everything in the Bible literally. The church has to sort that out.

Objective confirmation of the fact that there are indeed a lot of strip clubs around here, per capita.

The technology is now in place for me to go ahead and start a family. As reported this morning on NBC news, scientists in California have finally produced human embryo clones. All I have to do is provide the nucleus of a skin cell. But here’s where you come in! I will still be needing; an egg donor, a surrogate mom, several nannies and the name of a good boarding school. (And sperm donors are still required for my various side projects.)

The people over at the HuffPo’s Living dept. clearly have sex on the brain, but I learned a lot from this one. A. Lot. Such as:

“the vagina is a self-cleaning ecosystem”

Hot!

The Etiquette of Oral Sex (Tangomag.com)

This, from Taegan Goddard’s Political Wire:

Playboy magazine conducted a nationwide survey on the “politics of sex” and found that voters in both blue states and red states “are surprisingly united when it comes to sexual matters, and there is less separation in the bedroom than originally thought.”

Key findings after the jump.

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Tonight, the Fashion Failures release Don’t Make me Kiss You Motherfucker with a live show at the Blackstone. Though there aren’t any tracks from this one on their myspace page, the tracks they do have up are pretty ace. Fiery, propulsive guitar rock, like Radio Birdman’s 70’s output or some of Ron Asheton’s solo stuff with a heavy dose of Doll’s-style drunken blues and big sing-a-long choruses. 75 Or Less, who are the craft beer of indie record labels, is releasing ...Motherfucker in all its hand screenprinted glory. Label Boss Mark Macdougall’s own crew, Six Star General also play the bill along with The Propellors, whose own self-titled disk is out now on 75 Or Less, and they’ll rock the “middle child” slot.
The Blackstone, 9pm, 21+ $5