We are the future. Head over to Books on the Square this afternoon with the kiddies for Halloween activities. This is apparently for ‘the little ones’, toddlers and such, so this image isn’t quite right, but I keep staring at it and find I am powerless in its presence. Anyway, bring your camera to the shop and take pictures with the spooky Halloween display. Join Marvelous Marvin for magic and other things. And then there will be the now famous costume parade around Wayland Square. ***And if we see one single parent talking on a cell phone during the parade we will wreak our terrible vengeance, and rivers of blood and gore will gush about your ankles sweeping away your precious Bugaboos and we will form an army of militant warrior babies who will rise up and cleanse and purify the earth of idolaters and fornicators and the people who talk on their cell phones.*** (They made me say that. Look away. Look away.)

4-ish, Saturday, Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street

The Providence Ghost Tour, featuring the Extraordinary Rendition Band and the Riff Parade, steps off today from the park at Prospect Terrace on Congdon Street (leave Roger alone!). I totally ganked this off LotsOfNoise where they have a map of the parade route which appears to go straight through Blue State Coffee! Tip generously.

[Additional Note: As 'Dave the Commenter' has noticed, the date on this image appears to be off. But according to the Providence Ghost Tour website the marching is today, October 30th. But, the time may be more like 6pm. Jeez, you would think ghost tour professionals would run a tighter ship. You are on your own folks.]

Free! 5-ish, Friday, Prospect Terrace, Congdon Street

So in honor of the only holiday (besides our birthdays) where’s its socially acceptable to dress like a common whore we’ve decided to talk about sex. This week: virgins, sex noises, and slutty outfits! Let’s dig in…

Q: While shopping for halloween costumes my boyfriend jokingly mentioned that he wouldn’t mind seeing me in some of these sexy costumes under different circumstances, hint hint wink wink. I returned the following day and picked up a slutty French maid outfit. I’ve put it on and taken it off like 10 times. I feel like such a tool! Any tips on doing the whole, “sexy outfit” thing?

A: Ohh, the slutty french maid as opposed to the non-slutty french maid? We may have opted for the whorey school girl or the skanky nurse. Decisions, decisions… more »

If you, like me, are totally not feeling the Halloween spirit this year, here’s some stuff that might get you in the mood:

1. Christopher Walken reading “The Raven.” I’ll let you argue amongst yourselves about whether or not Poe’s writing is scarier than Rihanna’s (because, if you didn’t know, Disturbia’s the first song she’s gotten a songwriting credit on.)

2. This Ladyhawke video.  Smoke Machine is actually a pretty good costume, I think.

3. America’s 25 Scariest Conservatives.

ps–Sorry for the whining above.  But I thought you all needed something bone-chilling, and hearing that voice come out of someone who’s staring right at me is way creepier than anything else I can think of right now.

SLAUGHTERHOUSE: the Iron Guild’s
5th annual Halloween Iron Pour - a live iron pour performance with musical accompaniment by Geoff Mullen and Nicole DiMarco.

Saturday, October 27th, starting at 7pm, the Iron Guild returns to the Steel Yard to present the terrifying, fiery sight of Slaughterhouse: the Iron Guild’s 5th Annual Halloween Pour. Prepare yourself for a frightful night as the Iron Guild attempts to harness the power of fire and madness. Witness molten metal gush from a 3000 degree furnace into wood molds that explode into flames. Local artists Geoff Mullen and Nicole DiMarco will accompany these visuals with a live, improvised musical performance.