The worst is yet to come. Though I’m a weirdo, so I like to think I hit rock-bottom years, or at least weeks, ago:

The British and U.S. researchers found that happiness for people ranging from Albania to Zimbabwe follows a U-shaped curve where life begins cheerful before turning tough during middle age and then returning to the joys of youth in the golden years….

“In a remarkably regular way throughout the world people slide down a U-shaped level of happiness and mental health throughout their lives,” Andrew Oswald at Britain’s Warwick University, who co-led the study, said on Tuesday.

But, then things get way better:

One possibility may be that people realize they won’t achieve many of their aspirations at middle age, the researchers said.

Another reason could be that after seeing their fellow middle-aged peers begin to die, people begin to value their own remaining years and embrace life once more.

Got News If You Want It

• Bush begs for the oils, H-Clint: “Pathetic…”
• McCain v. Romney= much bitchslappery.
• Rush Limbaugh deftly incorporates the words ’spade’ and ‘hoe’ into discussion about Obama and Clinton. Stay classy Rush!
• Those damn gay hackers!
• Actor Brad Renfro dead at 25

  Ariel points out that the dude’s dealing with a bit of a PR flap today. I’ve wondered for a while — how has such a wholesome career never been bruised by this not-so-wholesome (and well-circulated) ditty from his 1986 Live at Union Square album?

Ready Rock C, but right now, everybody out there

I want everybody out there that’s ugly

all the ugly people be quiet

all the filthy, stinky, nasty people be quiet

all the homeboys that got aids be quiet

all the girls out there that don’t like guys, be quiet

hold on, wait a minute all the girls that don’t like guys be quiet

you know it cause see, what we like to do when we perform is we like to

see how much noise the people can make, right?

Shout out to RIILE — you win.

Witness ye the birth of a new series, brought to you by the DailyDose — and please excuse me, but it’s my birthday, and I’m in a bit of a mood.

Over the next while, as we soul-search and brainstorm, we’ll be suggesting ways by which to imbue one’s life with a bit more purpose. (Stuff other than religion, making babies, growing tomatoes, and the usual.)

Today’s suggestion: Lose your wallet, and then go find it.