Posts Tagged ‘ Paranoia ’

filed under: Conspiracies | Fashion

Mary-Kate Demands Immunity

1PM ON 06/08/2008
BY Ariel Werner

mary-kate_olsenDEA investigators have subpoenaed former child star (and current floozy) Mary-Kate Olsen to gain information about the death of her friend, Heath Ledger. Mary-Kate, however, refuses to speak with the feds about Ledger’s painkiller use or anything else without first being granted immunity. The AP reports:

Olsen’s lawyer has twice refused requests for her to speak with investigators, said the official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the investigation was ongoing. The lawyer, Michael C. Miller, said the “Full House” actress has nothing to do with the drugs, and has already told the government everything she knows.

“We have provided the government with relevant information including facts in the chronology of events surrounding Mr. Ledger’s death,” Miller said in a statement Monday, “and the fact that Ms. Olsen does not know the source of the drugs Mr. Ledger consumed.”

[...] Police say [the masseuse who found Ledger's body] spent nine minutes making three calls to Olsen before dialing 911 for help, then called the actress a fourth time after paramedics arrived. At some point during the flurry of frantic calls, Olsen, who was in California, summoned her personal security guards to the apartment to help, police said.

Shortly after the Australian-born actor’s death, Olsen issued a statement that read: “Heath was a friend. His death is a tragic loss.”


filed under: Activism | Douchebags

Heroin… or Death?

8AM ON 05/07/2008
BY LiteraryTease

This morning I got an email from some jackass referring to himself as Timothy Stuff. Already intrigued by the subject line: “Hi Moira Buy Heroin, cocaine and other shit from timothystuff,” since, you know, I buy all of my illegal drugs online, I opened the email to read the following:

“Welcome to the site timothystuff dot com, it’s us again, now we extended our offerings, here is a list:

1. Heroin, in liquid and crystal form.

2. Rocket fuel and Tomohawk rockets (serious enquiries only).

3. Other rockets (Air-to-Air), orders in batches of 10.

4. New shipment of cocaine has arrived, buy 9 grams and get 10th for free.

5. We also offer gay-slaves for sale, we offer only such service on the NET,
you can choose the one you like, then get straight to business.

6. Fake currencies, such as Euros and US dollars, prices would match competition.

more »


filed under: War |

Eddie Bernays messes with your mind

8AM ON 06/05/2008
BY Dave Segal

Bob Whitcomb drops Ed Bernays’s name in his column today. Which has inspired me to post this:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUouIxuzjVQ]

It’s from an Adam Curtis film called The Century of the Self, all available online. Bernays basically invented the public relations industry, using the ideas of his uncle, Sigmund Freud. Among other things, he’s largely responsible for: it becoming cool for women to smoke cigarettes, our overthrow of the democratically-elected Arbenz government in Guatemala, and Freud’s existence as a pop-culture phenom.

He, and other dignified men of his day, thought active manipulation of the unconsciousnesses of the masses was somehow integral to democracy — and good for making a buck to boot. The concept of the “engineering of consent” — coined by New Republic founder Walter Lippmann — was once more widely used by elites, who thought it had positive connotations (and affirmed their standing in society).

Much of Chomsky’s popular work has entailed putting them in their place. You can check out the CBC film Manufacturing Consent over here.


filed under: Politics |

George Fox…

12AM ON 11/03/2008
BY Daily Dose

If you inherit a shit-ton of money and claim to be a progressive, you should probably use it for good. And one should never send people off to the can with quite so much glee as Spitzer has  often exhibited.

And, for Chrissakes, shouldn’t a former AG understand how wiretaps work?

Once again, intuition reins supreme.


filed under: Activism |

Yet Another Reason to Kill Yourself

9AM ON 10/03/2008
BY LiteraryTease

Okay, seriously? This is way messed up. The AP reported today that a survey of the drinking water in 24 major U.S. metropolitan areas revealed traces of drugs like mood stabilizers and sex hormones: AP Probe Finds Drugs in Drinking Water.

Sure, the traces were minute, and all of the utility companies insist that the drinking water is safe, but give me a break! Like any utility company worth its salt is going to say “Uh, yeah, looks like the water is unsafe to drink.” Massive panic would ensue.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5apEctKwiD8]

It’s not exactly unexpected, since all that medicine has to go somewhere. With millions of Americans doping themselves up, and with the most common reaction of a doctor to whatever ailment you might name to be a prescription for one drug or another, those drugs go into our systems and then where? That’s right, pissed out into the toilets of America, or on the side streets, and, eventually, into the water we drink. Gross enough for ya?

more »


filed under: Activism | Arts

Dirt Palace at PS1

5PM ON 08/03/2008
BY DirtPalace

Hey friends!

Don’t have any plans for next Friday, March 14? Why not join the Dirt Palace at P.S.1 for our performance that we’ve been slaving over for the past 2 days? I mean 2 months? I mean… well..

The performance is running during the same time as their “WACK! Art and the Feminist Revolution” show… and they have this thing called PopRally which is really just a big art party that is sponsored by Grolsch and Fred (?), anyway, we’re putting a performance together that involves dancing ice cream cones, a walking toaster, duelling sword fights (in 3D!), music, many “moons”, an actual plot with no actual character development, and an endless string of hairbrained money making schemes that you may or may not have helped us achieve in the past. more »


filed under: Education | History

The dumbest smart person or the smartest dumb person?

9AM ON 07/03/2008
BY Daily Dose

Which one is Ben Stein?  Here he is in the Projo, going off on Darwinism. And here he is on O’Reilly:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWMGD1Dg6L8]

Stein gets this right (while taking on the tone of the godless evolutionist Christopher Hitchens):

Maybe we would have a new theory: We are just pitiful humans. Life is unimaginably complex. We are still trying to figure it out. We need every bit of input we can get. Let’s be humble about what we know and what we don’t know, and maybe in time, some answers will come.

But how does that jibe with broad assertions of Creationism, predicated on nothing?


filed under: |

Life used to be so simple…

11AM ON 05/03/2008
BY Beth Comery

General Jack D. Ripper… when the enemy was fluoridation. Check out Bob Kerr’s column in today’s ProJo for his take on National Guard adjutant general, and acting head of RIEMA, Maj. Gen. Robert T. Bray. Comparing him to Gen. Jack D. Ripper of the 1964 movie Dr. Strangelove, Kerr perfectly lays out this local example of all that is silly and wasteful, and dangerous, in our response to the constant post-9/11 fear-mongering. I’m sure this depressing scenario is being played out elsewhere about the country. (And the Governor has it all wrong, again! Could somebody please send that man a copy of ‘Constitutional Law for Dummies’?)

One last thing, you know how when old people tell you something they used to watch is really funny, but it never is? (I’m sorry, but The Honeymooners blows and it always did.) Here’s the exception, Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. It’s genius.


filed under: Brown |

siren test — college hill

9AM ON 28/02/2008
BY Beth Comery

siren2 Brown University will be testing a new emergency siren today some time between noon and 1:00 PM today. It is unknown at this time whether it will be too loud, too long, or both. It will consist of a tone, followed by a voice message (probably Morgan Freeman again).

Might I suggest that if Brown University is concerned about the safety of its students it should conduct a seminar at freshman orientation called ‘How to Cross the Street’. I offer my services and have a little something worked up. It’s called “Angels and Watermen: Deconstructing myths of the male power construct/learning to express ones individuality and impotence outside the active lanes of commerce in the post-industrial age.” Readings from Joseph Campbell and the Division of Traffic Engineering. The Muppet Babies film ‘Cross That Street’ will be shown. Short field trip with trust exercises. So, don’t forget… jarring and startling noise between noon and 1PM. Not a good time for a bris.


filed under: Douchebags |

And who keeps stealing my pens?

5PM ON 05/02/2008
BY Beth Comery

girl writing Ah the communal refrigerator… whether in the faculty lounge or the two-bedroom, five-student Brooks Street apartment… there will be blood. And there will be notes. A website dedicated to the fine art of writing Passive/Aggressive Notes features, but is not limited to, fridge-rage. (BTW, who here at The Dose drinks the coffee YooHoo? Just asking.)

In my capacity as the de facto secretary of a casually organized Scrabble club, I once received an angry email from a dissatisfied participant. We’ll call her “Enola Gay” (not her real name).

My boyfriend and I went to your scrabble club of elites several weeks ago and were somewhat immediately annoyed by the fact that we were told to seperate [sic] from one another and play complete strangers when we simply just wanted to play a game by ourselves to warm up and have fun, (something I feared the other scrabblers knw [sic] nothing about by the look of their stern and straight faces).

Needless to say, we won’t be back and I am all set with your emails and I will not be recommending this club to any other of my scrabble playing friends who actually enjoy the game instead of taking it so ridiculously seriously.

Thank you for taking me off your list.

Actually, we have a lot of fun.  And we meet every Monday night after 7PM at Julian’s on Broadway (where we are occasionally told to pipe down).


filed under: Conspiracies | Douchebags

Texans got beef wit’ lil’ Rhody

1PM ON 03/02/2008
BY Ariel Werner

ri-757882 steak-720300

TexasMonthly Editor Evan Smith has a beef with Rhode Island. He claims:

Some of you may be aware of a two-plus-year-old dust-up between TEXAS MONTHLY and Boston Magazine over a purloined cover concept. In February 2005, we put Tom Craddick on the cover of our “Power” issue, only to discover, a few months later, that our neighbors to the far northeast did a clumsy job of ripping off our design. (The cover subject for their “Power” issue was Mitt Romney. Hey, how’d that work out for you?) Now comes this: Rhode Island Monthly’s February 2008 issue on steak. Look familiar? The art director of that fine publication has a future. Elsewhere in New England.


filed under: |

Things to be wary of this holiday season:

8AM ON 26/12/2007
BY Dave Segal

Tremors Arson: Newport’s serial arsonist is still on the lam. But Middletown’s police squad knows what it’s doing, catching these ballsy but inane teens in no time.

Worms: Especially if you’re a low-income city-dweller.

Tigers: Not funny at all. I don’t think there’s anything that can kill you at Roger Williams Park Zoo. But letting the cheetah, binturong, and a moon bear or two loose on the State House (due to, um, lack of funds) might not be a bad idea around budget time.


filed under: Concerts | Daily Dose

Epic Space Jam Tests Providence Pot Supply

11AM ON 20/12/2007
BY Eric Smith

terrest_jpg

Friday night at AS220, in celebration of the Winter Solstice (fucking Wiccans…) the United Space Rock Coalition will play for twelve fucking hours, bravely pushing the limits of what is considered listenable to even the most incredibly stoned fans of Can and Popol Vuh. The band will feature a rotating cast of players from a bewildering array of Providence noisemakers: Barnacled, Mahi Mahi, The Eyesores, Xerxes, V.Majestic, Manbeard, denimvenom, Work/Death, Holy Cow, The Body, Badman, Mahi Mahi, Glass Shivers, Butcherings, Mudboy, Urdog, Athletic Automaton, Made in Mexico, Drop Dead, Suffering Bastard, White Mice and more will all dip in and out throughout the day. Expect tons of beard stroking and epic face-meltery in the form of endless feedback solos and, literally, thousands of maracas.
Friday, 12pm to 12am, AS220 $3, which nicely frees up a little more weed money.


filed under: Conspiracies | Daily Dose

More No-Show Shenanigans

10AM ON 20/12/2007
BY Eric Smith

Another instance of no-show jobbing rears its ugly head yet again in Rhode Island, this time the accusations are against Providence Fire Union president Paul Doughty, who has allegedly not come to work a whole lot in the last three years. Doughty claims the allegations are retaliation from all the bad blood between the union and the city. It’s a pretty meaty story, read the whole thing here.


filed under: Arts | Comedy

Led Zep Resurrection

12AM ON 11/12/2007
BY Ariel Werner

ledzeppelin002 Not that I was ever a die-hard fan, but someone’s gotta give ‘em props for their Energizer-Bunny-like stamina. Ben Ratliff reports in the NYTimes:

LONDON, Dec. 10 — Some rock bands accelerate their tempos when they play their old songs decades after the fact. Playing fast is a kind of armor: a refutation of the plain fact of aging, all that unregainable enthusiasm and lost muscle mass, and a hard block against an old band’s lessened cultural importance.

But Led Zeppelin slowed its down a little. At the O2 arena here on Monday night, in its first full concert since 1980 — without John Bonham, who died that year, but with Bonham’s son Jason as a natural substitute — the band found much of its old power in tempos that were more graceful than those on the old live recordings.


filed under: Activism | Conspiracies

OMG, We Have To Help This Girl!

3PM ON 27/11/2007
BY Eric Smith

ivory_coast_pol88
Dear Readers,
We recieved this very urgent email in our tipbox this morning. I cannot underestimate the seriousness of Ms. Kojo’s plight. We, as a compassionate city must band together to lend help where we can, so what we need to do is open a bank account…well, I’ll just let you read the whole letter:

“From Maimuna Kojo
Treichville Abidjan Ivory coast,

How are you and your health that is very important to me? [Ed: that's very nice of her!] I am Maimuna Kojo, The only child of late Mr and Mrs Kojo, My Late father was a very wealthy Cocoa Merchant based in Abidjan, the Economic Capital of Ivory Coast before he was poisoned to death by his Business Associates [Ed: !!!] in connection with my uncle who was with him that day on the business outing to discuss on a business deal with some of his foreign business partner… more »


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