From Pulp Addict, where I chronicle the stuff that flows in and out of my bookstore. This week: Augusten Burroughs, Steve Martin, Jennifer Weiner, and Robert B. Parker.

Stranger In Paradise, Robert B. Parker (Putnam 2008) Mr. Parker is a heavyweight in the crowded world of crime thillers, having written over fifty books in the genre, but after plowing my way through this in two days, I’m not sure why. All the staples are there; tough, masculine detectives, quick with the solemn one-liners and burdened with the requisite drinking problem/ex-wife (in this case, both), oversexed female deputies who end up in bed with with a tough dude from the wrong side of the law, and of course, psychotic Hispanic gang members. Mr. Parker likes to include a lot of nodding in his prose, as in “Jesse nodded his head.” and “Jesse nodded, slowly.” and “Crow nodded.” and “Crow nodded at them both.” and my personal favorite, “Both men sat motionless, then nodded at each other.” Did I mention this all happens in the first chapter? It’s as if Mr. Parker doesn’t quite know how to convey, literarily, that someone is listening to someone else, and hears them correctly. Then again, this guy is a fucking millionaire and I’m writing a stupid blog. All told, it’s a pretty fun read and I think I answered my own question about why people love Robert Parker; because once he gets all the nodding out of the way he’s dependable and delivers the revenge killing in a timely and efficient manner.

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From Pulp Addict, a weekly documentation of cool stuff that comes through my bookstore. This week; Thompson, Anthony Bourdain, James Frey, and Bob Woodward.

Generation Of Swine: The Gonzo Papers Vol. 2, Hunter S. Thompson (Summit 1988) Just one of the seemingly endless collection of Thompson’s 80’s-era essays shares its most telling HST passage in the almost throwaway introduction, which begins with a line from Revelation of all places: “And I will give him the morning star.”, after which Hunter takes over: “I have stolen more quotes and thoughts and purely elegant little starbursts of writing from the Book of Revelation than anything else in the English language–and it is not because I am a biblical scholar, or because of any religious faith, but because I love the wild power of the language and the purity of the madness that governs it and makes it music.” From there on HST is in typical form; relentlessly skewering Reagan era cold war paranoia, the ‘86 Senate elections, James Bakker’s epic fall from grace and the art (or act) of journalism itself: “I have spent my life trying to get away from journalism, but I am still mired in it–a low trade and a habit worse than heroin–a strange world full of misfits and drunks and failures.”

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In preparation for Loaded!, tonight at Local 121, here is a video of Providence’s long-lost and legendary Velvet Crush performing “Back Pages” at the Met Cafe, mid-90’s sometime. I would love to think that I was there, but who the hell remembers…

Good thing we have all those guns out there to protect us: “ In the last two hours of Wednesday, two 17-year-old boys and a young woman were killed in shootings in Pawtucket, Providence and Woonsocket.” ( Projo)

Q: Since my girlfriend has moved in, she’s been cutting the frequency of sex down. Recently, she’s not even returning my kisses and she pushes me away when I try to give her oral (which she says I’m -fantastic- at). I can deal with a ‘bad week’ here and there, but I’m not a ‘once a week’ kind of guy. I can tell she wants to want me, like when she drags me to the bedroom after a good night, but then once she’s there, she denies me. I’ve tried everything; my last gift of ‘flowers for no reason’ got me a hug and a “you’re so sweet!” Should I be suspicious? Should I cut her loose so she can try being happy with someone else? Can I call her best friend for a hint? The last two times this happened to me, the girl turned out to be cheating and felt guilty, so I’m naturally very worried.

-Sexless in the City (we normally don’t keep funny signatures like this one but how cute!) [Ed. Fucking puke…] (more…)

OH WELL HEY AGAIN just serial blogging to remind you not to forget to immediately buy tickets to AS220′S totally brutal, wicked hottttt, ultra-provi-chic party of your LIFE annual fun(d)raiser FOOL’S BALL.

WHY? because where else will you be june 28th? SITTING AT HOME CRYING INTO YOUR GLASS OF CARLO ROSSI CAUSE YOU’RE NOT AT FOOL’S BALL, THAT’S WHERE.

ANYWAY GREAT what you SHOULD DO is buy fool’s ball tickets from me for $15 as opposed to buying them at the door for $20, because paying $5 extra for being wishy-washy sucks wicked hard. and if you DON’T, i’ll be forced to attempt to hustle money out of you in public places, such as the taqueria, possibly during friendly lunches, especially if your name is dave segal. and i’ll never stop. NEVER!!!!

ALSO PLEASE KEEP IN MIND, and i’ll try to say this gently so not to crush any egos, no matter how VIP you think you is you won’t get in for free UNLESS you volunteer to help out, OR are performing (OR obnoxiously hustling… email chloe@as220.org to volunteer) SO you might as well buy a ticket. from me. or the bar. or one of the various other potentially less thrifty (and certainly less wordy…also: less attractive) ticket-hustlers running around town hustling tickets.

AND SO, TO CONCLUDE, hunt me down, buy tix, have fun, you won’t regret it. HERE, LOOK, I’LL EVEN MAKE IT EASY: you can buy tix (or sandwiches) from me monday, tuesday and thursday before 3pm at CAFFE PAZZO (YEAH, REMEMBER THAT PLACE?) on steeple st, next to new rivers (where all your best friends work).

UHHH for more possibly less spazzy info on fool’s ball: [HERE]

As the trial of Nicholas Gianquitti, the retired police office accused of killing retired firefighter Jim Pagano in Warwick plays out in Providence this week, I have a question about one of the more disturbing facts of the case, although it doesn’t really matter now I guess. When Gianquitti went out into the street to yell at the children who had hit his car with a tennis ball, why did he have a loaded .380-caliber handgun in his waistband? Was he going to shoot them?

Q: Dear Jersey Girls,
I met a girl last night through a friend and after I got home I sorta drunkenly found her on Myspace. I didn’t add her or send a message, thankfully*, but I was wondering, what amount of Face/Space stalking is acceptable and when has it crossed over into the inappropriate and creepy?
*By thankfully I mean she wasn’t 16 but a refreshing 31.

A: We’re not too proud to admit that this is a topic we’re relatively well versed in. (more…)

This week’s Ask The Jersey Girls:  Furtive masturbation, intrusive pets and walks of shame.

Q: Dear Jersey Girls,
I awoke this morning to find my boyfriend, who I’d had sex with mere hours prior, jerking off in bed next to me while I thought he was still sleeping. Why? It had been literally 5 hours since we’d last had sex and he knew I was likely going to have sex with him again in the next 24 hours if not right when we woke up. Am I not enough? Why did he feel the need to do this right next to me? He couldn’t use the bathroom? We’re an extremely sexually active couple, what gives?

A: Oh. My. God. You made your boyfriend wait a whole 5 hours to have sex? You are a terrible girlfriend! (more…)

By Michael Grigelevich

Back when wearing shorts with Doc Martens and ripping off Neil Young was the order of the day, Providence’s Six Finger Satellite donned suits, signed to Sub Pop, and released a string of near-perfect records of the electro, post-punk variety. Critics and listeners loved and feared them: 6FS’s coldness and penchant for disturbing lyrics and personal appearance – see the photo inside the “Massive Cocaine Seizure” 7″, for example – came across as both refreshing and terrifying. 6FS plowed through the 90s making records that still make any contemporary band playing in similar genres look pedestrian (The Rapture, anyone?), toured with giants like the Jesus Lizard, and even landed a video on Beavis and Butthead (“Parlor Games”). (more…)

UPDATE: Footage, courtesy of the Greenwash Gorillas themselves… even as this was a pretty amazing spectacle, the footage kind of makes me want to give Tom a big hug. While I understand the criticisms of Friedman’s work, I wonder if this was an effective way to get the message across, or whether this merely reflects poorly on the University… thoughts? Could the pie-throwers have raised their dissent during the Q&A with as much flair?

New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman had just begun his Earth Day lecture at Brown last night, when Molly Little ‘08.5 and a colleague let him know what they thought of his work. The Brown Daily Herald reports:

A female audience member ran on stage last night and threw a green pie at New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman […]. The woman had been sitting in the south side of the auditorium’s front row when she pulled the pie out of a Brown Bookstore plastic bag that had been tucked in a red backpack and leapt out of her seat.

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This week: Moving-in jitters, vaginal flatulence and the after-school special they should have made, but didn’t.
Q: Jersey Girls, I have been dating my girlfriend now for a while and she is great. We hit it off from our first conversation and I haven’t looked back since. We’re even planning on moving in with each other, which I am really excited about. Over the past month I have been having some crazy and intense sex dreams about a handful of former regulars from my single sex life as well as some other random girls I know. Is this any kind of a sign? The dreams are pretty frequent. Should I be re-evaluating my decision to move in with my girlfriend?

A: We don’t know, should you? Probably not. (more…)

The Hell? Corleone recording dude Jacob Berendes hosts a bizarre event tonight at AS220, beginning with a screening of the excellent retrospective Corleone DVD “10 Years Everything I Own Is Broken Or Bent”, and after that witness a Vegan Iron Chef battle, featuring Jamez Day and Mike Taylor. Everyone who attends will get some free food, but coffee is byo, and if you want to donate it’s much appreciated. AS220, 9pm, free, donations welcome

UPDATE: Blogger UglyAgnes has found, on the floor at Whole Foods of course, what appears to be an ingredient list for at least one of the combatants in the Vegan Iron Chef battle. Dude, a gallon of garlic? How do crusty vegan hipsters get laid? Super-secret grocery list after the jump. (more…)

Young people. And jack else. (Except for Providence, I mean. And Fox Point in particular. Woot, woot!)

When I went to the SEIU convention back in September, I was impressed by the fact that, for the first time as far as I’d seen, Obama seemed angry. He was finessing a really fine line between impassioned and entitled, assured and cocky. Right on that divide.

In particular, he went off on a catty riff: “Oh — SEIU. You guys wear purple or something? I heard about you…” to highlight the fact that he’d actually walked the picket lines, for years and years, while Edwards was new to them even though he’d become the “labor candidate.”

For the first time, I thought he actually had a shot. Tonight I’m a little bit hopeful, in that he hit that note again. (more…)

Jeff of the Low Anthem (pictured) was wearing an ear-to-ear grin while promoting this show at Providence is Burning last Saturday. We’ll try to remember to remind you again, next week:

The Low Anthem is pleased to welcome three of the best new folk songwriters to Providence, RI to join them for a concert at Firehouse 13. Jesse Harris is the Grammy winning songwriter of “Don’t Know Why,” by Norah Jones, as well as the author of the soundtrack to Ethan Hawke’s new movie, “ The Hottest State,” which features performances of Jesse’s songs by Bright Eyes, M Ward, Willie Nelson, Feist, Cat Power, Emmylou Harris, The Black Keys, and Brad Mehldau. Anais Mitchell is an artist on Righteous Babe Records and is currently on tour with Ani DiFranco. Antje Duvekot is a superstar of the Boston Folk scene, and sells out Club Passim regularly.

Doors open at 7 PM and tickets are $10 adv/$12 at the door.

On my way to work this morning I noticed many campaign banners hanging on highway overpasses, but none was more striking than the one proudly displayed over 95S in the the North End of Providence. “Vote Black Power–It’s Time,” read the message on what, ironically, appeared to be a white sheet. At first I thought, well, there’s a strong statement. On momentary reflection, however, I began to think that in this primary season’s atmosphere of skewed racial politics, it was probably some shady Hillary operative, or at least some Hillary supporter gone way off the reservation, who put this up in order to scare white voters. I grew up in North Providence–not known as a bastion of racial enlightenment–and in my head I could hear many an NP voter seeing that and saying, “See, now why does he have to make it a black thing? That’s why I’m nervous about voting for him.” Brash display of black solidarity, or more passive-aggressive Clintonian chicanery? Sadly, we may never know for sure.