Find true love at JERKUS CIRCUS this Saturday at AS220!

Comedy, burlesque, and freaks! Voted best neo-vaudeville by the Boston Phoenix in ‘09. Produced, Created, and Hosted by the world famous Steamy Bohemians.

Jerkus Circus is America’s most delinquent traveling circus, a campy cabaret show that will steal your heart. . .  and your identity. . . to download porn. Called “haute vaudeville” by the Boston Phoenix, Jerkus Circus brings back variety in style, including wildly diverse performance artists, uniquely hilarious comedic acts, pasties, drug references, and all your favorite swear words. Watch us channel the gods of chaos! Our struggle will seem effortless. What song will Lainey forget how to play? What will Niki pull out of her boobs? There’s only one way to find out. Come see hilarious comedians, scary weirdos, sexy dancing, and fabulous music. Created, produced, and hosted by The Steamy Bohemians.

9pm, Saturday, $8 or less, AS220, 115 Empire Street, all ages

Featuring:

more »

The City of Pawtucket doesn’t like the idea of a new sex education center opening up in its downtown area, and things are getting kind of messy.

Megan Andelloux, the tattooed lady that URI professor Donna Hughes editorialized against back in June, is opening a non-profit sexual education center in the Grant building on Main Street. I’ve seen it; it’s really cute and clean and completely non-threatening in any way. It looks like somebody’s crazy aunt’s kitschy living room, basically, but with a lot more old-timey women’s health magazines. Andelloux plans to teach classes there, as well as providing health-related info and offering an extensive library of books about sex. There’s a few similar places like this dotted around the country, but this was going to be a first for New England.

The grand opening was set for Saturday, lots of guest speakers like Carol Queen were coming in from out of town to speak, and it looked like it was going to be a great success.

Until a busybody stepped in.

more »

I don’t normally feel the need to link to religious crazies, but there are so many hilarious details in this article from something called ChristWire that I couldn’t help it.  (Also, it took about twenty pages of clicking before I convinced myself that it was real.)

This sanctuary of scum is called the State of Rhode Island. The place that practically proclaims at its borders, “Welcome you hedonistic sex workers and pole dancers, and men and boys too! Now drop your undies and get to work!”

Rhode Island. Most of us couldn’t find this sneaky little street walker on a roadmap. Here’s a hint: it hangs like the diseased genatalia of New England. And sick it is, my friends! The veiny little pouch of debauchery and radicalism is threatening to infect America with its sinful liberal revision of what it means to be free. Prostitution and pole dancing are reputedly one of the few growth industries in this moribund mansack (no pun intended). [Ed. note: Is this even a pun?] What’s worse, when a handful of local Christians suggested outlawing these sins against human decency, the greatest pervs in the world jumped on top of themselves to defend it….

more »

Sunday night will be the first showing of a documentary about Rhode Island’s notorious sex industry.

“Happy Endings?” follows the life of “Heather” over three years as she works in a massage parlor, while the Rhode Island legislators debate over the “loophole” in a law that allows prostitution behind closed doors. Happy Endings? will also screen at the Columbus Theatre in Providence on June 5^th and June 6^th at 7pm and 9:15pm, and The Salvation Café in Newport on June 15^th. The film will be followed by a panel discussion with the filmmaker and RI experts on the issue.

5:30pm, Sunday, AS220, 115 Empire Street

more »

Today the House of Reps will vote on a law that seeks to end private, indoor, sex-for-money trades in Rhode Island. I don’t think I have to guess if the Governor will sign this one, since it’s practically his only long-awaited opportunity to strangle your reproductive organs with his rosaries.

I won’t deny that the industry here is dangerously unregulated, and that could use some fixing, but I don’t see how adopting the same policy of prohibition that has failed in 48 other states will improve our situation at all. We should re-regulate the industry and set guidelines for parlor owners that force them to register employees, subject them to random regular inspections, and make sure that their employees are privately interviewed off-site annually to make sure they’re working willfully. Also, we should tax the crap out of the parlors. This law makes it impossible to regulate or tax the industry, and virtually guarantees that the trade will move farther underground, where trafficking, slavery, abuse, and pimping are even more rampant.

This law will not only create an outdoor prostitution/pimp problem (since the market for that is currently undercut by the parlors and independent escorts), it will cost taxpayers anywhere between $7M and $30M annually to enforce, not including judicial overhead or the cost of expanding the womens’ prison.

Call or email your rep today and let them know that they should reject this legislation until a comprehensive study of the sex industry in Rhode Island is presented, including employment and economic factors.

All of our neighboring states are moving in more socially-liberal and progressive directions — this is absolutely counter-productive to that.

Update: The Youtube post is down, but it’s still online here.  Thank heavens.

Original: I stopped going to Taco Bell when I was in sixth grade because I saw somebody working there sneeze in a really unhygienic way, and when my mom complained we were just given coupons for our next visit. But apparently I should have kept going, because it seems Taco Bell is actually a muy caliente den of sin where people just can’t keep it in their pants.

A five-year old South Bend, Indiana girl recently went to pee and found not two, not three, but four people thinking outside the bun together in the ladies room. Her parents were understandably upset, and now they have called the corporate office (fine), the police (I guess?), and the local news (come on now). WNDU picked up the story and produced four of the most dramatic moments of television since they cancelled Melrose Place.

My ten favorite things about this story, after the jump:

more »

Mondays at Wheels has been putting together amazing performances lately and there are many more ahead. Take one down for Martin Luther King Jr., one for our new President and the rest for yourselves. Be sure to bring your sex with you!!

January 19th
Wheels
125 Washington Street
Downtown Providence

Okay, so it’s a horrible name, and I’m sure you’re as sick to death as I am of every day being the International Day to Start/End/Remember/Celebrate/Unite Against _____________, but I think this one’s kind of important, especially since we live in a state where certain kinds of potentially dangerous sex work are legal.

There’s vigils and celebrations around the world (including sex worker Christmas Caroling in London, which sounds awesome) but nothing in New England, as far as I can tell, though the blog Bound Not Gagged is hosting an online vigil today.

I could barrage you with thousands of articles about violence, but I thought I’d go the more optimistic route and share my favorite sex workers story of the year, courtesy of the $pread Blog:

Mara Carfagna, Italy’s Equal Opportunity Minister (?!) and a former showgirl and topless model, thinks that prostitution is gross and that she doesn’t understand how any woman could sell her body for money.  This past September she started pushing to criminialize prostitutes, pimps, and their clients. (Which, while I don’t agree with that at all, at least makes more sense than just criminalizing the prostitutes and not the dudes that pay for them.  But anyway…)

In Rome, the mayor decreed that women should stop wearing unseemly clothing, because it “distracted male motorists and caused car accidents.”  So what did the women do?

They dressed as nuns.

Even the way in which sex workers stand is under scrutiny - the decree bans the women from “adopting poses or behaviour or wearing clothing that unequivocally manifest the intention to solicit or practise the activity of prostitution”.

Sex worker welfare groups have called the decree absurd and have pledged to challenge it in any way they can.

“We’ll dress as nuns so that the police will arrest scantily dressed girls outside discos or other women with their cleavage on show,” said Pia Covre, of the Committee for the Rights of Prostitutes.

And in Florence, where women were banned from walking up and down the street, the prostitutes started riding bicycles.

Its been awhile since we’ve heard from our lovely Jersey Girls, now that they’re bi-coastal (one living on the East Coast, the other living on the Jersey Coast) it’s been even harder for them to get their shit together. Plus they have jobs now. Whatever, here’s the latest insanity from Providence’s most reliable advice mavens.

Dear Ladies, So, my thoughtless boyfriend made a joke about the idea of getting me a Brazilian wax as a Hannukah gift this year. At first I laughed along with his joke, when I thought he wasn’t serious. The second he said it the feminist bone in my body started to stiffen. Am I rude to tell him to fuck off and that a wax is sexist and a blatant gift for himself. I mean, I’ve been known to slack on the shaving, but whatever. I don’t feel the need to get waxed just because some dude wants me to!

A: What? You mean having the sensitive little hairs around your labia and asshole ripped out with hot wax by some burly European named Helga doesn’t sound like a thoughtful gift to you? more »

Head over to Smitty-B and join director John Cameron Mitchell (the “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” guy) for a screening of his 2006 film “Shortbus” — Q & A to follow.  This is what The New York Times had to say.

As utopian visions go, it doesn’t get much better than “Shortbus,” a film in which all you need is love — and sex, lots and lots of mutually, sometimes collectively, pleasurable sex. John Cameron Mitchell wrote and directed, though orchestrated might be the better word for a carnivalesque romp in which men and women engage in sex in a multitude of creative combinations. An ode to the joy and sweet release of sex…

What could I possibly add to that?

(Update: I guess I do have to add something.  According to one commenter Mr. Mitchell will not attend this screening.  The press release from Brown indicated that he would.)

Tuesday, 7:30pm, Room 106, Smith-Buonanno Hall, Meeting Street (east of Brown Street), Brown University

So in honor of the only holiday (besides our birthdays) where’s its socially acceptable to dress like a common whore we’ve decided to talk about sex. This week: virgins, sex noises, and slutty outfits! Let’s dig in…

Q: While shopping for halloween costumes my boyfriend jokingly mentioned that he wouldn’t mind seeing me in some of these sexy costumes under different circumstances, hint hint wink wink. I returned the following day and picked up a slutty French maid outfit. I’ve put it on and taken it off like 10 times. I feel like such a tool! Any tips on doing the whole, “sexy outfit” thing?

A: Ohh, the slutty french maid as opposed to the non-slutty french maid? We may have opted for the whorey school girl or the skanky nurse. Decisions, decisions… more »

Q: Dear Jersey Girls,
I think my boyfriend has a porn problem. I may have not-so-accidentally stumbled upon his huge stash of DVDs which led me to his computer, which led to me to TONS more porn. It grosses me out that he fantasizes about these gross girls or that he might be thinking about them when he’s having sex with me. How do I make him stop?

A: Fo’ serious? Stop a man from looking at porn? Um, how do we say this delicately? Wait, we don’t have to–Fat chance. Never going to happen. You gonna tell us we’re not allowed to watch it either now, Nazi? Porn is not gross, it’s awesome! Don’t get us wrong there is PLENTY of porn out there that is totally gross (2 girls 1 cup, anyone…?), but we’ll assume this stash of his doesn’t include any poop, children, snuff, rape, or farm animals. Look, lady, even if it’s not something you use to get off to, porn has plenty of other good uses. Please keep some of the following points in mind when you call porn “gross….” more »

In case you were wondering, honesty is not dead in the digital age. Today on craigslist, the best men seeking women personal of the day:

The headline reads: “I just want to get laid.”

Who doesn’t?

The text of the ad reads:

“I don’t want to meet your mother or father. I don’t care about your personal life, your history or your dreams and aspirations. I just want to fuck you. It’s natural, I’ve got the penis and you’ve got the vagina. Hopefully they fit together. The rest of these guys are just yanking on your chain to get down your pants after some cheap pizza and beer. All men are scumbags and I am the only honest scumbag left on the planet. You read this far so obviously you are not all that disgusted so send me a photo and Ill send you one of mine.”

The honesty of this ad is refreshing. Why more people don’t just put it right out there like this astounds me. I’d like to shake this guy’s hand.

And why does it seem to have linked to us 12 times in the last 48 hours?

On Tuesday we got hundreds of visits off of Politico, for the post on how Hillary and Textron both suck. And yesterday we got hundreds of visits off of Fleshbot, for the post on shouting Tony Danza’s name during sex.

Doing Provy proud!

Cause if you can’t trust a Jersey Girl for some much-needed sex and dating advice, who can you trust? Lets just get right into it this week:

Q: Ladies,
I’ve been dating this guy that I see about once a week. The sex is good but I feel like we’re falling into a little bit of a routine. We meet up for dinner or drinks, come back to my place and our clothes are off in a matter of seconds. The first few times when we didn’t make it past the kitchen or hallway were exciting. The sense of urgency is really hot but I need him to slow down if I’m ever going to be able to get off! How can I get him to tap the breaks a little bit?

A: Well, bonus for making it out of the car I guess. more »