Jersey Girls Know What Skeet Skeet Means

Skeet Skeet Each week the Jersey Girls take on your most intimate of problems, if you got ish send it to the girls.

Q: Dear S&M,
I love my girl with all of my heart but her smoking drives me crazy. When I bring it up she says she’d sooner quit me than quit smoking, and that I knew she was a smoker when we started dating. Can she really care about me that much if she feels that her habit is more important than me? Please Help!

A: Oh, please… This isn’t about you. It’s about addiction. Quitting smoking is easier said than done, why do you think they advise drugs addicts not to quit smoking even when they’re quitting everything else? You knew she smoked when you decided to start dating, and although kissing an ashtray is no longer your cup of tea – you’re going to have to bite the bullet and deal. Her response to your request to quit is obnoxious and frankly, pretty damn childish – but maybe that part of the relationship (communication) needs to be addressed. It doesn’t sound like you’ll be able to tame this shrew.

We just wanted to mention that the half of S & M that is a non-smoker thinks this sucks. We speak from experience when we say that kissing a smoker really is fowl. One tip that’s worked for me in the past is bribing my smoking significant other with sexual favors and rewards. You totally shouldn’t have to but you might be surprised at how many less cigs she needs when you tell her to sit on your face instead when she’s craving one. Just a thought.

Q: Dear S&M,
The guy I’m seeing and I exchanged I love you’s for the first time. You’d think hearing “I love you, kel” would be nice. Except…my name is Lisa. Kelly is his ex. Should I end his now? Is he going to cheat on me?

A: Oooohh SNAP! That fucking sucks! We’re so sorry. Ok, you don’t have to panic entirely and dump him. The fact that he said the ex’s name has nothing to do with him cheating on you. What it could have to do with, though is where his head’s at. We feel inclined to say everyone’s capable of a slip here and there. In times of anger like when in a heated verbal dispute or like in your case– moments of passion– it can be easy to let something that rolled off your tongue so easily in the past slip out again. That being said, the very FIRST “I love you” and he fucks it up? Is he serious? Your names aren’t even similar for Christ’s sake. We think it likely that he’s just an idiot and messed up when really it counted. If you feel in your heart of hearts that you can let it slide, we say stick it out for a little bit. And by stick it out we mean stick around for a little longer and watch him like a hawk.

**On a personal note- we know all of this is supposed to be all anonymous and shit but we feel the need to mention that the names in this question set off warning bells. If the question asker in this case is Lisa Turtle and she’s talking about Kelly Kopowski she better kick that dog to the curb! Anyone who’s anyone knows that Zack Morris is a two timing bastard.

Q: Dear S & M,
I’m a guy in my mid-30’s who finds himself constantly going for girls that are in their mid-20’s. So far this hasn’t been working out for me in the maturity department but I’m just not as attracted to women my own age. Should I suck it up and settle for a chick in her 30’s or keep trying to snag myself a hot young thing?

A: Yo, Bra. What are you, high? Hasn’t anyone ever told you that age ain’t nothin’ but a numba? If you’re not attracted to women in their thirties then just don’t date women in their thirties. It’s really that simple. You can’t force yourself to be attracted to someone, bottom line.
Not for nothin’ but it sounds like your’e just chasing after the wrong kind of tail. Maybe these broads are more Blanch than say, Dorothy – and maybe that’s not right for you. On the other hand, maybe you should stop hatin’ and give these old bags a try.
S here claims that a woman’s sexual peak is in her thirties – we didn’t do any research to back it up, but I’m sure she read it somewhere legit like Cosmo or something. How many times do we have to tell you people that you don’t have to settle for anything that isn’t exactly what you want? No sweetie, not even you. So if you really want some crazy broad that’s our age who either really wants to piss off her parents, likes the idea of an older “provider” type, or is smart and knows older guys have greater potential to give it to her proper—you go out, friend, and find her… She’ll probably be at RiRa.

2 thoughts on “Jersey Girls Know What Skeet Skeet Means”

  1. dave chappelle

    skeet – Slang for coitus interruptus. The ejaculatory term for ‘pulling out’ the penis and ‘shooting’ semen derives from the act of skeet shooting, pull and shoot.

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