All you hoodlums — stay the hell outta Foster

From the paper of record:

FOSTER — Patrolman John Forrest still had the small, red marks from where the two sharp, needle-like probes lodged in his skin.

It had been hours since he was shot with a stun gun, but there they were, one mark on his upper right shoulder, the other on his lower back.

The probes had each been attached to a thin, insulated wire connected to the gun, and, for five seconds after he was hit, 1,200 volts of electricity coursed through Forrest’s body. He could barely remember what it felt like, but he was certain he didn’t like it.

“That was my first and last time,” he said afterward.

Dude gets Tasered

The TASER C2 was actually invented in the future, but ganked and brought back to present-day Foster by a mad scientist who stole a time-traveling capsule from an unsuspecting historian, as inspired by the failed efforts of Berlinghoff Rasmussen.

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