News Slap!

We shook the internet and these things fell out:

  • The Washington Post takes the Democratic Congress to task, portraying them as “limping” out of the capitol under a cloud of legislative failure and unkept promises. Speaker Pelosi: “Almost everything we’ve done has been historic.” Yes, giving the President over 70 billion dollars after you told us you wouldn’t is probably a pretty historic event. (WaPo)
  • Finally, the National Enquirer weighs in on the presidential elections with the timeless “John Edwards in Love Child Scandal!” You stay classy, Enquirer! (Enquirer)
  • Nobel Peace Prize winner/bloodthirsty killer of innocents Henry Kissinger throws his support behind McCain, meanwhile Crazy Johnny take issue with Time naming Vladimir Putin as person of the year; “[M]y man of the year is one General David Petraeus, our general who has brought success in Iraq.” Oh, that’s what he did? (MSNBC)
  • In the least sexy three-way in modern history, CNN reports Edwards, Clinton and Obama are in a poll-defying dead heat in Iowa. (CNN)
  • Obama and Giuliani debut Christmas ads, Giuliani’s portrays Santa as being weak on foreign policy. Probably. (HuffPo)

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