There are no bad dogs…

… just bad owners. That got repeated so often during last night’s Westminster Dog Show I almost started believing it. But then I remembered Manny (may he rest in peace). At any rate, it is easy to start falling in love with all these breeds, and certainly the announcer and commentators are completely smitten. But if you listen carefully, they are trying to tell you something with certain code words and phrases. Here’s a simple glossary of terms.

• “loves to join in family fun” — will drive you nuts
• “talkative” — will drive your neighbor nuts
• “not a city dog” — you have to pick up the poop, your call
• “has a mind of its own” — untrainable
• “bred to be gamekeepers’ watchdogs, needs socialization” — they’ve tasted human flesh, and they like it
• “full of life” — will knock Nana on her ass
• “natural herding instincts” — will knock Nana on her face
• “loyal and dignified companion” — dumber than a bag of hammers
• “very territorial” — close the door when having sex with your boyfriend