Missed Connections Not Just About Whole Foods Employees Anymore

Sometimes I like to start my mornings off with a cup of hot joe and a fresh batch of Craigslist Missed Connections (and/or Italian Greyhound listings on Petfinder), but the ones this morning are something of a downer.  While I’m glad that some girl had a lot of fun at the Mahi Mahi show the other night and people are still trying to pick up moms at Catholic middle-school basketball games, check out this alarming and strange post: 

To the young 30ish, Brown MD-You put something in our drinks. Obviously out numbered. This straight male was just happy to get out with 3 messed up girls and blurred myself. I new it was time to go when you tried to force yourself on me, then forcefully trying sodomizing my gf’s gf. We exit the bedroom to find her other gf, naked on the floor, passed out. Later to realize she was r*ped by your buddies that came over while she was passed out on your couch. Watch out. Kiss your profession GOODBYE! You probably will like getting it in every hole in Prison. In the mean time, keep looking over your shoulder.  

That’s, um, something.  Right?  I kind of assumed that this person posted this when she got home from the party, angry and inclined to forget certain grammatical details.  It would also explain why this poster would consider this a missed connection and not, you know, something that would look better in the form of a police report, if it’s true.  But then I noticed it was composed at 6 PM and not in the middle of the night.  So, make of that what you will.  Also, I wonder why the poster apparently thinks that homophobic threats and warnings are the way to get justice for whatever happened to her friends.  Anyway.  The publicly-posted replies are completely tasteless and make one wish that the world would just hurry up and end already.  Replies after the jump, if you’re the type that longs for the glory days of The Jerry Springer Show: The first reply comes from the melodramatic Scarlet Letter camp: And then… 

 I think you should OUT him!There are so many of them who think they are GODS and can get away with ANYTHING!!!!!”  

How horrifying.  

 I hope you RAPE him legally, professionally and financially. One time each, for each of you violated.  

And then a possibly well-meaning Ivy Leaguer took offense to that…

 The only thing we know, if this guy is a med student in his 30s, is that he wasn’t part of the Brown PLME program. Med school culture is nothing like undergraduate culture, which is from where collegiate stereotypes spring. The only thing we can realistically surmise is that the aforementioned phrase of contention was not written by anyone particularly familiar with Brown University (undergraduate, graduate, or medical programs).  


Having lived in Providence for nearly a decade, I haven’t heard of a single instance of a Brown student raping a local. There’s no need to turn an alleged tragedy into a town/gown battle. I don’t think this is what the OP intended.  


And then that previous person responded again with some free-verse…

OK, I’ll apologize for my presumptuous comment.  While you defend the ROBERT CHAMBERS of the world. Med school or not, who cares.  

The respondant before me also stated that these guys think they’re Gods.  

But as long as they follow a specific course study, it’s ok.  

You’re right. NOT the point of the posts.  

Carry on, now.

And then someone that actually seems to have some sense in their heads said:

If this posting is indeed true and if there are other people out there who have experienced a similar situation, please heed this advice: get off craigslist and find a lawyer and a rape counselor. Especially if you plan on taking any legal action. You do not want to risk jeopardizing your case in any way (real or imagined) and you don’t want to waste time. The more time that passes, the harder it will be to prove this guy is guilty.  

And finally someone who doesn’t know the difference between the second and third person (and who I think is the original poster) responded with grace and class: 

Leave it to another fag yuppie to defend his friends. He probably raped a townie or two himself and then high-fived his bros! Piss off and go back to Cambridge, you Izod-wearing ass-clown   

In other news,  how adorable is Lorenzo?

1 thought on “Missed Connections Not Just About Whole Foods Employees Anymore”

  1. Really, craigslist missed connections are what gets me through that brief period between arriving at the office and waiting for the caffeine buzz to set in.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Providence Daily Dose