old bags vs. sea turtles

sea turtle Why can’t we be bold on this one? The continued production and use of plastic bags is no longer defensible — we can solve this problem decisively, or whizz it slowly down our leg. As reported yesterday, our legislators are considering four versions of the most protracted and piecemeal combinations of taxes and rebates imaginable, and I don’t blame business owners for thinking that this might be a pain in the ass. Gee, if only we had a successful experiment on which to model our own regime. Oh that’s right, the Irish did it already, and they did it fast by imposing a 33¢ tax on each bag. Just think, for a brief period of time, this could actually help with the state budget deficit.

The ironically named Keith Christman (what would Jesus tote?) is a lobbyist for the plastic bag industry, a noble and proud profession to be sure. He tried to muddy the waters by incorrectly framing the problem as plastic vs. paper, when it is now plastic vs. the earth. And if you can decipher this quote, your services are needed at Homeland Security.

“We don’t think bans or taxes on plastic bags are the right approach,” said Keith Christman, the senior director of packaging at the American Chemistry Council and Progressive Bag Affiliates. “[Among other things] if you tax or ban plastic bags, people will have to buy more plastic bags for other uses.”

Of course the elderly, a.k.a the Greatest Generation, continue to be a problem — double-bagging every goddam thing in sight including other bags. They seem ineducable on this topic. The Rhode Island Resource Recovery Corporation, the agency that runs the Central Landfill, estimates that Rhode Islanders consume 192 million bags a year.

And Mr. Christman, please watch ‘Thank You for Smoking’ and see if you can’t come up with another way to pay your mortgage.

1 thought on “old bags vs. sea turtles”

  1. What do the elderly are about global warming? They’ll be long gone so why should they change now?

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