5 thoughts on “Wikipedia Entries That Would Make Good Names for Pretentious Bands”

  1. In re ‘Garagistes,’ I’ll first admit that I had to go look it up. It’s not hard for anyone who has ever seen a Latin word or known anyone Italian to figure it might have something to do with garages, and is probably French. But it doesn’t offer anything beyond ‘something about garages’ on face, and also, French words like this can be misleading, as it could as easily mean, “Modern descendants of francophone refugees, led by Arturro Garagi de Monteplatte, who fled Flanders in the 15th Century to escape persecution at the hands of Lutherans in the wake of the Reformation, eventually settling in the Marseilles region of France, today espousing religious tolerance for Flemish refugees.” (Don’t bother checking my facts, I made that all up right now, and the Reformation didn’t start until the 16th Century.)

    So.. OK, first second thing: I still can’t understand what wine people say, and that goes beyond the burbling of the slow-night bar-time crowd at AS220 who slid down College Hill and floated downtown because alcohol is lighter than water. I know what ‘tannic’ means because I sometimes drink tea to avoid embarrassment in front of my out-of-town friends who are better than me. But the rest of it is mostly.. hell, they could be making it up for all I know. I’ll bet the whole wine-talk culture and industry is little more than an elite, overgrown drinking club playing an enormous and elaborate prank on the rest of the world. Because how would we really know, right? And don’t you think we’d have figured it out by now if there really was any sense to it?

    Second second thing: ‘Vin de garage’? Garage wine? Wine bottled in a garage? And look how much money they’re making on it! This has been going on for some time now; hasn’t anyone over here been paying attention? Why is there no ‘vin de triple-decker’? Shit, let’s plant up the parade ground and start making some money already!

  2. OMG Patty Hearst is MY favorite celeb. That story had it all. But what was I going to say? Oh… the Ninth Directorate.. I know exactly what they would sound like and I am so sick of that crap.

  3. I’ve actually thought about Stockholm Syndrome as a band name, if only because Patty Hearst is my favorite celebrity. I’m sure it’s already taken.

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