In Cinemas This Week

Want to know what’s coming out at your favorite cineplex this weekend, without the hassle of visiting another site? Well friends, look no further! Here’s a preview of all of this week’s new releases.

  • Milk
    Director: Gus Van Sant
    Starring: Sean Penn, James Franco, Josh Brolin, Emile Hirsch, Diego Luna, Victor Garber, Denis O’Hare, Stephen Spinella
    General Release; Docu-Drama; Rated R

    Well it’s about fucking time! I had the good fortune to catch Milk during its limited release in NYC a few weeks ago, and it’s hands-down my favorite film of 2008. Not only is the story overwhelmingly riveting and relevant, but Gus Van Sant and Sean Penn are both at their finest (alongside an incredible supporting cast). I hate to admit it, but even I – having been accused many times throughout my life of being ‘robotic’, ‘unfeeling’, and ‘completely dead and hollow on the inside’ – experienced human-like eye watering at the film’s close. And if that doesn’t convince you to see Milk, then I don’t know what will.

  • Seven Pounds
    Director: Gabriele Muccino
    Starring: Will Smith, Rosario Dawson, Michael Ealy, Barry Pepper, Woody Harrelson
    General Release; Drama; Rated PG-13

    There was a period in Will Smith’s career – around the mid-90s – where he made loud, blockbuster films that happened to coincide with the release of a mildly annoying song (see Men in Black, Wild Wild West). They seemed like tedious days at the time; but now, a decade later, Will Smith has been earnestly trying to prove his chops as a serious actor (Ali, The Pursuit of Happyness, even I Am Legend) and those faraway 90s days seem blissfully naive. I’m still waiting for the rest of the world to find Mr Smith as irksome and untalented as I do. Although, with Seven Pounds currently weighing in at 30% on Rotten Tomatoes, perhaps I may get my Christmas wish after all.

  • The Tale of Despereaux
    Director: Sam Fell, Rob Stevenhagen
    Voiced By: Matthew Broderick, Robbie Coltrane, Dustin Hoffman, Kevin Kline, Frank Langella, Christopher Lloyd, William H. Macy, Stanley Tucci, Tracey Ullman, Emma Watson, Sigourney Weaver
    General Release; Animated; Rated G

    Every review of this movie has stated that the plot is convoluted and difficult to follow, which certainly doesn’t bode well for audiences who are largely incapable of things like comparative cinematic analysis, or properly using a toilet. My advice for those looking to get their rocks off to an animated flick: skip this muck-fest and Netflix the beautiful Wall-E, which is also one of my favorite films of 2008.

  • Yes Man
    Director: Peyton Reed
    Starring: Jim Carrey, Zooey Deschanel, Bradley Cooper, Terence Stamp
    General Release; Comedy; Rated PG-13

    Oh god, why did I say all of those cruel things about Will Smith when my real venom should have been reserved for Jim Carrey? This guy has made two watchable films, and two films only: The Truman Show (in which he’s barely tolerable), and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (in which there is only one moment where the horror of Jim Carrey pokes through an otherwise wonderful movie). Everything else is about as enjoyable as being castrated with a rusty spoon while being forced to watch an episode of Two and a Half Men. From the trailers, Yes Man appears to be a shot-for-shot remake of Liar Liar except, instead of having to constantly tell the truth, Jim Carey must say ‘yes’ to everything. Consider this one Eternal Shitfest of the Thoughtless Mind.

  • Slumdog Millionaire
    Director: Danny Boyle
    Starring: Dev Patel, Madhur Mittal, Freida Pinto, Anil Kapoor, Irrfan Khan
    Avon Cinema, Providence – times vary (see their website); Drama; Rated R

    I always forget about Danny Boyle, but when I think about it (and also pretend that The Beach didn’t happen), he’s actually one of my favorite directors. Slumdog Millionaire, the story of an illiterate beggar’s appearance on the Hindi version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire, is on everyone’s ‘Best of 2008’ list, and I for one am excited to catch this movie ASAP.

  • It’s a Wonderful Life
    Director: Frank Capra
    Starring: James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymor
    Cable Car Cinema, Providence – times vary (see their website); Drama

    James Stewart is the grandfather of all DILFs: Fact. And the only thing sexier than Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window (where he’s bed-bound, scantily-clad, and trying to get into Grace Kelly’s knickers) is Jimmy Stewart in this movie (where he learns about angels getting wings, the power of the human spirit, and how to take it like a man from Donna Reed). This is the perfect little feel-good jaunt in this hectic run-up to Christmas.

5 thoughts on “In Cinemas This Week”

  1. matthew lawrence

    I totally have a man-crush on Stanley Tucci. Especially when he’s all evil and shirtless in A Life Less Ordinary, which is a wonderful and terrible movie.

    And They Don’t Know is like the best song ever. Or, you know, at least the third-best song of the eighties. Departure Lounge also did an excellent cover of it (on their 1999 album that also had a guest appearance by Sophie Ellis-Bextor.)

  2. joe bernstein

    Dave-I grew up with this guy who went on to be a film critic and we still talk about film on a regular basis.Ken Turan-he writes for the LA Times.Anyway,he told me to see Slumdog Millionaire without fail.He didn’t want to give away the plot because he said it was better seen than described.
    He wrote a book a few years back called “Never Coming to a Theatre Near You’about overlooked films.A lot of real good finds there.

  3. matthew lawrence

    I got really excited by Stanley Tucci and Tracey Ullman in the same movie for a second, until I realized what it was…

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