Update: The Youtube post is down, but it’s still online here. Thank heavens.
Original: I stopped going to Taco Bell when I was in sixth grade because I saw somebody working there sneeze in a really unhygienic way, and when my mom complained we were just given coupons for our next visit. But apparently I should have kept going, because it seems Taco Bell is actually a muy caliente den of sin where people just can’t keep it in their pants.
A five-year old South Bend, Indiana girl recently went to pee and found not two, not three, but four people thinking outside the bun together in the ladies room. Her parents were understandably upset, and now they have called the corporate office (fine), the police (I guess?), and the local news (come on now). WNDU picked up the story and produced four of the most dramatic moments of television since they cancelled Melrose Place.
[youtube]l9mW_Ux2LrA[/youtube]
My ten favorite things about this story, after the jump:
1. “Police say people have sex anywhere and everywhere.”
2. “…Goes beyond borderline disturbing.”
3. Reporter Alana Greenfogel staging a dramatic re-enactment of how you open the door to a Taco Bell restroom.
4. “Eleven years old is still not old enough to start learning about such things as that.”
5. “As parents we’re supposed to protect our children…Not put them in harm’s way!”
6. BUM EQUIPMENT (!!!!)
7. The woman that they interview while she’s in her car with the windows up (?!)
8. “The women’s bathroom door was wide open today, I let myself right in.”
9. “Sad that it has to come to this, but apparently it’s a problem in a lot of places.”
10. This story took up almost four minutes of a newscast. Four minutes!
I think getting busy in a Taco Bell bathroom sounds about as appealing as, I don’t know, doing it in a dumpster, but I guess they people to work off all those fourthmeal calories somehow. If you, gentle reader, have ever gone south of the border to make whoopie at lunchtime, please comment–anonymously, for the love of God–as to how that didn’t seem like a terrible, gross idea.
Excellent journalism.
Wow, it’s 2009, If your eleven year-old doesn’t know at least the basics about what the boys in class are trying to do to her, you need to take her to the library and ask the nice lady at the front desk to show you where ‘649.65’ is. I’m pretty sure the consensus from the child psychologists is that little girls and boys should start learning about the very basics of sexuality (not sex, necessarily) at about age nine, since that’s when the early-blooming kids start experimenting with each other.
People have sex in strange places; It’s not legal, and it’s rude to do it where you could get caught by minors. In the meantime, if you’re -not- having sex in strange places, you probably wished you were one of the people that was. Did anyone else catch a little air of ‘pretend outrage’ in Alana’s voice?
And call me crazy, but I remember grandma telling the young ladies that they need to ‘keep their purse to themselves’ at a very young age. Just because you don’t want to give them ‘the talk’ yet doesn’t mean you get to ignore the fact that your kids are -humans-.
I would have treated this just like I would have treated any other major rudeness faux-pas in a public location: “Wow, those people were doing things that only grown-ups are allowed to do, and even then, only inside their own homes! They could/should get in big trouble for that, and we’re not coming back until the store apologizes to us! See how rude that is for them to do that here? Now we can’t enjoy our meal!”