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Teacher, There Are Things That I Don’t Want To Learn.

http://providence.craigslist.org/mis/991034000.html “Oh, hey, what are you eating?” “Salmon. I love it. I eat it practically everyday.” “Just salmon? That’s pretty weird.” Why the hell did I say this? “Oh, well, I don’t know. I try to eat healthy, natural foods…you know, like wild berries and honey and stuff.” “Yeah, I like food too.” *facepalm* [via […]

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Totally Hot Publisher Needed ASAP

Awww, shit, you gotta be kidding me? How come I didn’t get a memo on this one? Oh, right, because my office is my bedroom and my secretary is my cat. Darn. Apparently, would-be writers, the trick is not to solicit publishers one-by-one hoping to find one for whom your novel/screenplay/poetry/suckpileofhumanexcrement is a perfect fit.

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The Ideal Man Must Be A Saint

Don’t think I forgot about my homeboys. I found you fellas out there a little someone special: Creative Diva Looking for Ideal Man This 5’6″ cutie has bi-colored eyes and can’t start a conversation to save her life, but she loves getting nasty underneath the sheets. She’s good at it, too, evidently: she has four

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