Brown University will be testing a new emergency siren today some time between noon and 1:00 PM today. It is unknown at this time whether it will be too loud, too long, or both. It will consist of a tone, followed by a voice message (probably Morgan Freeman again).
Might I suggest that if Brown University is concerned about the safety of its students it should conduct a seminar at freshman orientation called ‘How to Cross the Street’. I offer my services and have a little something worked up. It’s called “Angels and Watermen: Deconstructing myths of the male power construct/learning to express ones individuality and impotence outside the active lanes of commerce in the post-industrial age.” Readings from Joseph Campbell and the Division of Traffic Engineering. The Muppet Babies film ‘Cross That Street’ will be shown. Short field trip with trust exercises. So, don’t forget… jarring and startling noise between noon and 1PM. Not a good time for a bris.
I’m sorry. I got everyone all excited over nothing. The test went off as planned so if you didn’t hear it, you won’t hear it. But at least I got out my little rant about the students. And what I’m talking about is a lot slower than parkour!
that siren was such a letdown, too.
Hold on just a minute here. As a Brown student and dedicated jay-walker, I must explain: it isn’t that we don’t know how; it’s that we choose not to. It’s the unwritten rule of College Hill: why walk to intersections or wait for lights when you can just zig-zag across in the most convenient manner possible? I suggest you all consult the art of parkour: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkour
“Might I suggest that if Brown University is concerned about the safety of its students it should conduct a seminar at freshman orientation called ‘How to Cross the Street’.”
This seriously made my day. I don’t understand how college educated people don’t understand what a crosswalk is for, or even how to look before bolting into the middle of the street with a car 5 feet away from them. Seriously, people.
thanks for getting this song stuck in my head. oh, who am i kidding, i always have that song stuck in my head.